There are decisions you can make that are not 'fatal'. Have you thought about separation? Unfortunately, the stats say that it will end up in D.
Sadly, SD, I have posted over and over that when we come here, our M is in really bad shape..probably some of the worst case scenarios. Then, we come here and find 'hope'. We also find a great place of denial. This morning, my L said to me:
Originally Posted By: FIB's L
Do you really expect people to change a pattern that was developed in childhood? People go RIGHT BACK to who they were.
My favorite story is the fable of The Emperor's New Clothes. Did you read it as a child?
Many of us come here and we drape ourselves in a cloak of 'hope for reconciliation' when we are unable to see the naked truth. Is this a place to save your M at any cost, or, is this a place to hide in fear and denial? Those stupid cliche's keeping coming back to haunt us:
people don't change
once a cheater, always a cheater
once the trust is gone, it never comes back
Who coined those phrases?
SD...I have not followed your sitch to the letter but I have read a bit...both on my sitch and yours. You seem like a fine woman. I am ?jaded now since I am in my own D, but, I have a retrospectoscope. I am NOT a religious stander (obviously), but, when is it time to let go and move on? When is hope lost? When does one enforce the ultimate boundary?
After 3 indiscretions in my own sitch, I threw in the towel. I KNEW my M was toast. All I can say is..personally...and not really knowing you as a neighbor or friend...is that it bothers me that your H has not honored your request. Where there's smoke, there's fire.
So, SD, H is texting the woman with whom you've asked him to sever non-business connections. If it were me, I wouldn't be found within 10 miles of that woman if I wanted my M to be saved.
So....what do you do? How do you get across to H that it is not acceptable yet, if it is your desire to continue/save this, deliver that message in a way that says you've had enough? Is it time for an LRT?
FIB forever liking risotto 9003 times while screaming yahoo in the air.
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
