Quote: Make it uncomfortable for the OW to keep up her fantasy and help her get closer to the door. Has your D4 visited daddy lately at the office? Does her artwork (pictures of her family) hang on his wall? What about getting a portrait taken of his girls and framing it for his office - to be seen prominently by all who enter. I know my kids love to visit daddy and have given him photos and drawings, etc.
What a bunch of schemers! I love it--fight fire with a blow torch. BTW, if XOW is an employee of a company you are vested in....can't you treat her like she is....well, um, your be-otch?
"Miss..(mispronounce her name on purpose), run down to the corner and get our D4 an apple juice while she visits with daddy". Make sure you look down your nose at her & throw a few dollars on her desk.
Oh, hey, here's a good one: In the interest of keeping the excitement in your M, go alone to H's work wearing nothing but Victoria's Secret under your raincoat. Lock the office door and show your H the alternative uses for his desk and office chair. Enjoy yourself LOUDLY (think of Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally).
Thanks guys, I love your advice. Especially since I raided Victoria's Secret last november and I discovered what a great PMA uplift it is (even when we lived apart: sexy underwear makes me feel very well ).
As to my D, I may use her paintings and pictures but I do not want to take her there. My H used to leave her at OW's house while we both were working on Sundays, and OW had her calling her Mom since she saw herself as her stepmother. I do not think my H realized how much our little girl understood of what was going on. He stopped taking her there when my poor and innocent 3 y/o girl told OW very proudly: 'I am a very big girl, because I sleep alone in my room. Mommy is a baby: she has to sleep with Daddy'. OW confronted H and he feigned fury saying HE could not believe I would sleep with OM in our bed!!!! The gall!
It is a very disgusting story and it makes me sick to think of it. OW had the 'cojones' to give me the Christmas presents she had for my girl with a label saying 'from Mom.' To be fair to her, however, I do believe she loves my D in her way.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Good Morning Optimist. Wow. I wouldn't expose your daughter to the XOW after reading your story - ouch. Sorry. I do not believe in putting kids in the middle of the sitch, but this isn't between you and your H - it is to send loud and clear messages to XOW that she is not a welcome presence in your lives. So that leaves getting a picture of you and your daughter taken for his office - "his girls" as he calls you. I agree to being patient about getting XOW out of picture - when the time is right an opportunity will present itself to discuss it further with your H. The good Lord is watching and has a plan - we just need to be patient while the plan unfolds. That is what keeps me going on my end.
Hang in there
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
I do have a picture of the three of us vacationing in the Caribbean taken on Aug of this year by my SIL. I was planning to enlarge it and put it in his office (in a frame OW gave him for a picture of our D taken in front of her house). He had promised her to take her abroad a ton of times over the last 5 years and she never got farther than Chicago
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Yes, it is rather creepy. But when a W settles for an EA there must be something wrong in her mental sitch. At the beginning of this mess, I found an article in ivillage.com that help me not to idealize her
).
OW had the 'cojones' to give me the Christmas presents she had for my girl with a label saying 'from Mom.' To be fair to her, however, I do believe she loves my D in her way.
