I understand and accept if you can not make these commitments because you have decided that you wish to end the marriage. We can make an appointment with a mediator and start collaboratively building a plan for how we will dissolve the marriage.
Once you have articulated clearly and succinctly what you want to happen and how ("leading"), I do not think you should follow with the "but if you're not into it" clause because you have made that clear already. Give her a chance to take it all in, process it and come back to you. For me, it would take all the wind out of it to hear yet again, that I have another option (she knows that she can divorce you). I see no benefit in giving it the tone of an ultimatum. You already made yourself clear. The vibe IMO should be that you know what you want and you have a plan and can lead AND you want to bring her on board.
Reflecting on the rest of your posts, I would take out the talk of D. I think you should balls out and very clearly, fewer words express what you want to DO and of course ask for her input (but minimal).
I wouldn't have wanted a litany of ideas or instructions. Just to know that the game had changed, that H was done with f'ing around and was ready to lead.
