i have to ask, if everything you are telling us is true, have you been holding this affair over her head and rubbing her face in it recently? have you threatened to divorce her and fight against alimony prior to the bed incident?
this is just me, but i have dealt with a wife having an uncontrollable anxiety episode, and you are not in the perfect response stage. you might consider picking her up from work and taking her to a doctor pronto. she needs to calm down and so do you right now.
what did she do last night instead of sleeping? pace around the house? drink and chain smoke? lay in the quest room and cry and swear at you? are you leaving her alone?
