Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Spell out the boundaries, what you need to happen by her to go forward and what she needs from you.

Here you lost me - how do I spell out what she needs from me?

Also, I'm still struggling with what I need to happen by her. Working on that...

You did all that self-growth, learning and loving yourself to get to this point.

Still a work in progress, but thank you!

Be clear about what you want then draft a plan. You have to be logical but speak to her emotions. You cannot let her emotions overwhelm or cloud the issues. State what you have decided you want.

What do I want?
- I want her to stop blaming everything on me and take some responsibility.
- I want her to stop looking to other men to make her happy.
- I want her to commit to working on the R.
- I want her to stop simply saying "I don't know what I want" and withdrawing any time the question of the M comes up.

I am struggling with framing this in concrete measurable actions.

Be prepared for the conversation to get emotional. If it gets heated you need a fall back position. "This dialouge is no longer productive with us this upset I am going to stop and we can discuss this again later." (Put it in Thinkspeak)

Great advice. Write it out and memorize it so it is still available when I am angry.