Ummm...Pink lipstick! Bring home ham and milk was it?
Pick up clothes. Do something in office?
YOU are creative I have seen that!
He IS reading, maybe something he reads will impact him.
Look at the turn around in Tal's sitch in just the past month, or Sage's for that matter, she wasn't getting all that from her h just a short time ago.
From my reading over here I am trying to learn, hoping to get to this stage and it looks like they start to work but it takes a long time to really get back into it all the way.
Just my take on it and you know I'm not here!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Just a quick post, I am supposed to be in the other end of town in half an hour. I've decided I have to cool off. I am giving myself an ulcer with all this crap. I've had the most incredibly upset stomach all week.
Thanks for dropping by, Cupcake. I like your posts, even if I only discovered them today.
Sorry about the confusion, T2. I may need a brain transplant after all (or an ophtalmology check: I might need glasses). Yes, I seem to be blessed (or cursed) by a keen sense of the ridiculous.
As to the church thing: you'd not believe it but OW is a very religious person and has even taken my H and D to her church with her family. She is saved and all that stuff. I mean, I can understand it when she thought my H was single (about 1 year at the beginning), but later... Even if she thought we were getting a D, he was still married! I guess love is blind to moral imperatives... Nice excuse, if I may say so myself
Am I too old fashioned? I do not have much idea about Southern churches, but the 10 commandments I studied in Sunday school had 2 items about adultery... Was it seven and ten?
Found them! Thanks St. Yahoo!!! Let's breach the separation of Church and State for this once only
Quote: ONE: 'You shall have no other gods before Me.'
TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a carved image--any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.'
THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.'
FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.'
FIVE: 'Honor your father and your mother.'
SIX: 'You shall not murder.'
SEVEN: 'You shall not commit adultery.'
EIGHT: 'You shall not steal.'
NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.'
TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.'
Pam, you forgot the red lipstick (though I admit that was repetitive on my part).
Got to go
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Sometimes totally breaking my normal routine will help shake me out of something like that, do you have any ideas on what works for you?
Don't think this is good time for you to make decisions but this is based on me and maybe you think clearer and your h responds better to this than mine would!
Mine avoids conflicts pretty much at all cost, sooo I am better off being calm and logical! HA! Like that happens very often!!
{{{{Opt}}}}
Sending calm and peaceful thoughts your way this evening.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I am back from work and supposed to be watching the V monologues with H. Sopposed being the operative word, because I have sneaked out to the computer to post
He has been pissed all evening, but I am paying no attention at all. I am acting as if nothing has happened and watching to see if something does happen.
Small curious detail. Phone rang a while ago and I picked it up. Some man asking for H. He gets all upset "I'm not here, tell them I am not here" even before I find out who the guy is. Ends up being a telemarketer and I hung up, but it got me thinking... that is what H had been doing for the last few years whenever the phone rang and he was in. Of course, he did not want OW to know he was living with his W and D.
I know, I know. It could be a innocent reflex...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Oh, add my H to the wimp and coward category. He is rehashing last year...but that is for my thread.
I've been thinking about you and the phrsae, strike while the iron is cold keeps coming to mind. You need to cool off a few days before you do anything. Are you justified in chewing his head off, sure, but could you possible regret it a few days later, yup.
Think of some calm ways you can get your point across, without being angry, calm, matter of fact. Maybe go somewhere the two of you and discuss this. Have some points ready that you want to get across. Actions you need from him in a timetable that would convince you that he is really working on it. Make the statements about you, what you need from him.
But not right now, especially if he is in a pissy mood. Ignore him enjoy the vagina monolagues, they were great!
Jackie says what I was thinking she just says it better!
Hope your evening finished up well. Good job on the act as if, that is hard for me to do. Afraid my feelings are on my sleeve and I'm not sure how to get them off!!
So calm and peaceful and planning today!!!
And if the gracious 'Lady of the Manor' appears you have to share!!!!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
H woke early this morning and rushed to work. Not a very happy camper, but I totally ignored it
I went to carpool and then to work and saw his car in front of his office (it is on my way to work: no snooping involved). So I dropped in to take him to breakfast. Well not in because he got out before I could get in, but we did go to breakfast together.
He was in a horrible mood at first, saying he was late and very busy, so I told him, quite matter of fact, "Well I only invited you to come to breakfast if you wanted, you do not have to stay if you do not have time." He grudgingly admitted he was going to stop for breakfast anyway. Once fed, he seemd in a slightly better mood and when we parted he held my hand in the parking lot and even kissed me briefly (of course I had my pink lipstick on, Pam ). He said he'd try to get home early so that we could make fondue (we'll see).
A few minutes later I run into him at work and he was all nice and as he was leaving he kissed me in front of everybody (only a peck on the lips, but it counts) and said ILY. He has never been big on kisses (even his mistress -her definition- complained about it).
Anyone has the instruction manual to this guy? Where are the engineers when one needs them?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Quote: Anyone has the instruction manual to this guy?
Opt, sounds like you're doing pretty good without the manual. Besides nobody really reads those things do they? I bought a new printer (one of those that scans & faxes too) last Sunday, and while the manual is sitting on my nitestand, I still haven't even read the first page eventho its been used a few times already, altho struggled with how to get it out of powersaver mode.
Seriously, a good formula to stick with is leave them feeling better than when you first joined them. Build towards them associating having a good time with being with you. So this morning ... mission accomplished ... now keep doing more of what works.
Actually, I did think engineers did read those manuals since the rest of us mortals do not At least the ones that write them...(well not those, they would have noticed that they are not in English). Proof readers?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Anyone has the instruction manual to this guy? Where are the engineers when one needs them? 