Not sure if it was the right thing to do but it felt right...Today being our anniversary I wasn't sure what to do, if anything, so I decided to get her a simple card, not mushy at all and inside wrote...regardless of our current struggles, I didn't think the day should go by without being recognized -- after all, a lot of good has come from this day, like S and D. And no matter what the future holds, I'll always be grateful for that. (stole that from Smiley :)). Just felt like I should do something...Left it in her car at work.
I think thats nice~! You weren't begging for her to come back. You were recognizing the day.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I would like some input related to my sitch - some time ago you suggested that I should be careful the first year b/c I could get hurt - based on your own experience. Could you post on my thread what kind of things you were talking about - if you can.
Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays all have a way of unsettling the soul no matter how much you might try to overlook the date or downplay the day. *Hugs* to you.
Quote:
My problem getting what I PROBABLY should get is it may hurt the kids (ie she may have to sell the house). I don't want the kids lives interrupted anymore than they have or will.
Divorce changes everything for everyone. Many times the split is not equal but 'equitable'. Keep in mind that you too will be providing a home for the children.. yes? Kids need both parents. With a private practice she can probably hide lots of its value (or so docs who have divorced have done in the past) if she is so inclined. Take the long view of yours and the kids needs.
This is a time where how you deal with her becomes business. Doesn't mean to be rude, mean or cruel...just a business like way. Most likely you will regret it later if you didn't do your D by the book.
How was your weekend?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I'm good,not much new going on. Did get asked out by a girl at work who I think is great and would so go out with her but I'm not ready and wouldn't want her to be a "rebound" girl...Maybe in the future, who knows.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I completely understand the 'not ready' part.. but what's wrong with a cup of coffee, a snack, quick lunch? One non work related time with another does not a relationship make.
I should take my own advice more often, and smack fear upside the head.
I am old fashioned and would suggest you wait until you are ready and legally/emotionally done with your M.
You never know when you will be ready... one night you go to bed sad or quiet, and the next day awake to a new idea. Let it happen naturally. If you are still like this next year - we will find you and start pushing. (LOL)
Just a suggestion. It has helped encourage me when in despair. Go to www.rejoiceministries.org before considering dating someone else. Leave no stone unturned.
You can take it or leave it. But I found it to be very inspiring and it renewed my walk and my stand for my M regardless of the current outcome or situation. What you are facing right now is current circumstances. Circumstances can change with time.
For what it is worth, take a look. I was considering dating at one point again to. Then I had some changes occur in me from new resources.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
