I think you did the right thing. Living in limbo is bad for everyone. Even divorce is preferable to that.
I am not a fan of what I think I understand to be Smiley's suggestion that you live in the house with her but be dark. I tried that with my husband when I was an unhappy spouse. I pretended I never saw him. In fact, I averted my eyes and cut him out of my view at all times. And it only made things worse. We were at that stalemate of neither of us would leave the house and kids. It was deep limbo and it was ugly.
The only hope is that she fears divorce at least as much as you do. If she is not financially dependent on you, then she may not be concerned about keeping up her lifestyle. But if she needs the security of marriage for roof and food and other things, then what child support will offer her won't be enough. And she may as well face the reality and make an informed decision.
Good luck. I hope you find a sitter for tonight. And I hope you have a good C.
