Advice on DB-ing when sep spouse lives at home

[cat04]

Almost--one more thought, actually spurred on by Mach1, the 48 hour rule is perfect. When I feel the anger now, I have actually told my H, just give me some space, which he just can't seem to understand. Once, I gave in and ignored MY needs, which just led to a difficult weekend for me. Now, I don't tell him. I just get very quiet or do things on my own. He doesn't understand. I get funny looks, comments about my jaw being broken, then I just smile and say something very stupid which usually lightens my mood enough to be nice. Living in the same house, I do not have the ability to keep PMA or acting as if up all of the time. But I do my best. Often, my anger, frustration, or plain old bad mood, really has nothing to do with him or our sitch, and I used to just spew at whoever was in the area, regardless of what they may or may not have contributed to my mood. Being quiet until I can say nothing or say clearly and kindly what I need to say seems to work for ME. Don't know how H takes it. I don't think he believes it is a real change, especially since he has caused me to react once or twice still, but even those instances, I have realized quickly what I was doing and stopped myself. So as it continues, maybe he will realize that that has changed in me, I also do not tolerate it from him anymore, and that too has thrown him for a loop several times. But I LIKE the change in me. I am much calmer and happier and all of my anger goes away much quicker than it used to. So what H thinks about it really doesn't matter all that much in the long run.

So Mach, thank you for reminding us to process it. That is extremly important.