K4D Rising #3

[K4D]

25,

Let me clear up a misconception. I agree that "standing" does not mean shutting down and just waiting. It means that I am keeping my vows regardless of what happens. It in no way at all means that I am not trying to better myself and my life. It just means in the past I have had thoughts of giving up on the M and maybe looking for someone else even though I didn't believe in it. But I have since made a concious decision not to do that. I will keep my vows and keep working on me and trying to make myself happy in life while I wait for what God has in store for me.

I personally believe that my W will return one day. God did say he could turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. God brought lazarus back from the dead. God has worked many miracles in life to those who were faithful and believed and prayed and asked for it. For instance, take you and your H. Take FaithfulH and his W. Look at all the success stories on rejoiceministries.org.

He can certainly change hearts and does. But it is in his timing. In the mean time, like I said earlier, I know that process can't begin until he is done working on me. That doesn't mean me running and hiding in a corner somewhere. That means me making the changes I need to make so that I can be in a position for him to work on my W and restore our M like he has so many others.

To say that God won't do it is to lack faith I think. That says that prayers are worthless. Look at how many people come to Christ because someone else prayed and prayed for them and they felt something. Look at the stories of S's returning because they felt like God was talking to them at some point down the road because people had been praying. I firmly believe that God works miracles to this day and that he wants marriages to be restored and that if you pray and make the changes needed by allowing him to change you that he will bless you and restore your M. Obviously it could be years before that happens and so often is. But still, it happens.

So no, I will not getting a life. And I will not just use my girls to pass time. Granted I need a bit more motivation at times to get out and focus on me. I'm not perfect or quite there all the way yet. But I am really focusing on my spiritual side and trying to put God first in my life and my girls life.

And I think I am part of an excellent group now that Tomato and FaithfulH are part of. And I am very grateful to have met you and have you working with me.

I have a lot of blessings to be thankful for and a lot of resources to put into place.

By "standing" I stand for my M. I will not look at another woman as an opportunity even when I feel down about how things are going. I stand for my marriage no matter what the situation is. Some days are better than others. Yesterday I was feeling more upbeat. Last night I had a discouraging dream and thought about it more while I was getting ready this morning and wondered why I would have a dream like that right after feeling upbeat about things and my stand.

I still stand none the less and I am still working towards getting a life and planning my future.

One of the things I pondered yesterday was DBing says act as if they are not coming back. But if you are going to pray with faith and confidence, the bible tells you to pray as though it has already happened. So you may not see results right away or for some time. But that doesn't mean that the motions haven't been put into place. You just may not be able to see it right now. You don't stop your life and wait. Infact, I almost think you prepare as if they are coming back, but at the same time, still work on you and getting a life.

I was thinking about buying a house. Me and FaithfulH talked about it. He said look at a house that would include your W coming back. That is part of preparing for what you are praying for.

If you don't prepare for what you are praying for, its almost as if you are not praying with faith that it will happen. Its like the farmer who prepares his seeds and then prays for rain. He is prepared for what he is praying for. What good would it do to pray for rain if you have not prepared for it ahead of time?

I hope this makes sense and is not looked at as backsliding but more as having faith in your prayers.

Getting a life is part of preparing because W isn't going to want to come back to the same thing she was in before.

Kevin