I read your sitch, and I would agree with all of your assessments. Although deeper than most, she is exhibiting most of the classic behaviors for MLC/someone in an affair, so at least we have that to go on.
Have you seen an atty yet? Preferably a good family law atty who specializes in "men's right" and paternal custody issues, and find out what your rights and responsibilities are. It's probable that you have a good case for "abandonment" against your wife, should you choose to play that card.
I'm concerned about your daughter cutting herself; how is she lately?
You seem like a real bright guy, and pretty knowledgeable (now) on the DB principles. I don't normally do the annoying psychiatrist "I don't know, what do YOU think??" thing, but . . .
What do YOU think you should do?
I have a feeling you know pretty well what to do, but maybe need some help doing it??
