So, last night didn't go well. When my wife returned home at about 9:15, I had a bath ready (already bubbled and everything), cheese and crackers next to the tub and a good bottle of wine opened and poured (and I was in a robe with hers ready on the bed). She is off today, so I thought we could talk in the tub and she would want to relax after a long few days (plus, I deserve it after a tough three days as well).
Anyway, she walked in, checked her mail, then logged onto her work computer. She took a sip of wine and said she wasn't sure if she wanted to do a tub, did some other work while I waited in our family room, and emerged from the bedroom at about 10 with a toothbrush in her mouth and pjs on (never having even gone into the bathroom that has the tub (in our finished basement, long story). I said, "what is this, I have been waiting for you to do a tub, which is all ready?" and she said she was going to bed and I should do it without her. Not, "I'm really sorry, I know you did a lot to get everything ready, but I am really tired" or something along those lines.
Instead of just pouting, I went into the bedroom and told her that if she wanted to go to bed, fine, but that the way she handled it was really inconsiderate and why. She wasn't happy and had some comment back, but I felt really good that I said it. I didn't backpedal on anything (or take the bath) but drained it, cleaned up, and sat down to at least enjoy my glass of wine.
I am not only pleased I didn't fall into NMMNG, but that I think it was important to say as we head into a discussion about expectations if she stays at home.
Thoughts/suggestions?
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
