Still Wondering How To Handle Things!!

[Sanderika]

Hello kissak....

IMO your H is thinking about you a lot.

Why else tell YOU his day to day goings on.....(?) (!)

My H recently told me he values and respects the conversations we have because they are logical and constructive. He considers it a pleasure to talk to me.

Another point he made was that the OW is not and never has been one he can converse with. He hates it. She is apparently a conversation disaster. She fires off one question after the other so fast that none can be answered. When it appears she is through and H says he tries to answer one she starts in again. They never discuss anything because she won't shut up. Most of what she says is all about her too. His solution has been to withdraw and say nothing, he shutsdown completely. He is a very stubborn man and nothing means nothing. To which she then gets PO'd at him. He doesn't enjoy her.

We had a 4 hour conversation this week face to face and this is one of the things he confessed.

He further went to say, he respects me for my conversations in that I always am interested in his topics. I offer valuable comebacks and am very kind and friendly. He respects my ability to listen as well. He said this is a major relationship criteria for him and is one of the things that has kept him from going through with a D.

I might be talking out of turn here....Ramp up the conversations.
Engage H further in his conversations. Let him call you and bring up a topic, expand the conversation to prove to H you are interested and here for discussions with him. By being engaging with H it might bring him around and he will see you aren't the enemy. I do believe that to bring them out of MLC Land we have to be someone H enjoys company with. With time the rest will follow.

Baby steps with a PMA from you will make him sit up and take notice. Remember he is always watching you. My H told me that this week too. He is watching even from a distance. It's your actions he is keeping track of when he's with you and when he's not.

Another thing don't let H see your anger or annoyance with him. Take it out somewhere else. It might seem phoney, it's not really....it's all about being that desireable greener grass. The place of comfort to H.

Just some of my opinions and thoughts....

Take care and have a marvelous weekend at the beach!!!!!!!!

Come back refreshed and with some new approaches and ideas.

(((((Hugs, kissak)))))

Sanderika