Patience....not a virtue I naturally have. I've learned a lot, vented here and just went through a lot of pain.
GALing...that was a 180 for me. I got very wrapped up in our S. Then I would complain how much he was out and I was alone with S but I did send a clear message S was more important than anyone else....big mistake in hindsight.
I started to exercise more and more seriously. I started yoga classes, they kick my butt. I started to really play tennis. I love it. I am learning to cook. LOL!! I started to do more with girlfriends and now all of them have kids too, which really helps. I read a lot. I love to clean. So, that was me, my GAL plan. I love it all.
What kept me going was that I trust MWD and believe her that people who get through this kind of hell are stronger on the back end. I would love a strong union with my H. There's not much trust now, so we are working on it with small things. He says he'll get the milk, he does. He says he'll be home at 9:00, he's home at 8:59.
However, he has done things recently to piss me off and I guess I have done things to piss him off. Still the roller coaster. Also, the other thing to help drive me toward this....my son. I figure if I can die for him and I would, I could do this. Don't get me wrong....not out of the woods by any means. He could be calling his lawyer today....I could want to call mine. (Yes, we both spoke to lawyers....) But for now, we seem to both want to work and see what could be. There are days when I'm over the OW and EA and whatever may have happened beyond my knowledge....like how much a PA was this really beyond the EA? But I fight it. I vent here, I call friends. I try to not fight about it with him but there are still very tough days ahead of us....I know that. But I think the payoff will be worth it.
I like this one:
I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that promise. Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth
