Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

I'll be honest here. I don't want a Divorce.

I want my W to work on the M with me. I want to honestly see what is still there.

If we really look, and really work, and find that it just can't work, then we can get D'd.

But the thought of D is horrible. I told my W last night that I can't stand the thought of us forcing the boys to spend each of their holidays for the rest of their lives with only one of parent. (I meant it, but it was also a way of pointing out to my W that D meant she would be spending half of her holidays without her kids.)

But also, right now, I don't see any alternative. If she continues like she is, we will end up with D.

Other than working on myself (which I am doing), my only plan is "Hope" - and to quote SP and a lot of others, "Hope is not a Plan". I have only been able to sit there and hope that my W does not get back together with OM, that she doesn't start with OM2, that it doesn't get more serious with OM2, that OM3 does break her down, etc

F That


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So I don't want to continue like we are, and I don't want D,

So what do I want?

I want her to work on the R. Honestly work on it and stop looking to other people to help her avoid the work.

She wants to talk later today. I need to be able to express what I want and what I am willing to accept in concrete actionable terms, not vague desires.

Any suggestions? Help!
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Rambling here with my thoughts, remembering something that she said last night that I found ironic. W has been threatening for a while "Then I'll get a D" "I would like you to move out" etc. Last night, in my anger I said "I'm done. I don't want to be married to you any more! Please leave!", to which she replied "I'm not leaving and you can't kick me out!"

Sounds like our roles have reversed...