Gosh, I'm sorry for where you are. I understand living with someone "that angry." My H was there last Fall. The only thing I can tell you is this. In November I founded the DR book, and started implementing the principles that I was comfortable with. It was a saving tool for me. The part that "took the edge" off of my H, was me telling him... "Listen, I know you're unhappy. I'm unhappy. I know you think you're done. Mentally, and emotionally, I'm not able to process this right now. My heart is still with us. I think this is fixable. Let's do this... The holidays are coming up. Let's agree to put all of this chaos, emotion, etc... aside, and just enjoy the holidays with the kids. Then we can revisit the situation after the New Year." After the New Year he gave me a card for our anniversary (with a present) that said, "I'd go down on bended knee all over again for you... (OPEN CARD) I just might not be able to get up this time!" I never brought the subject up again. H is not a "talker.," so neither did he. We've had one hiccup since then (when I got emotional at an event we attended - hello, say no to the wine/shots combo!), and I heard the same ol' same ol', but have significantly improved (DUE TO MY DB EFFORTS - PAT ON BACK!) since then. H is MUCH easier to be around, is MUCH more attentive, makes plans for the future, etc... We're nearing a stage to move to the next step. Just not there yet.
I tell you this succinctly, because this process does work (still haven't figured out the detaching!!!).
Maybe (without making it a R talk) verbalizing that you know he feels shitty, and so do you. We only have so many weeks left with the kids home for the summer, etc... Let's just enjoy them! Let the rest go for now, and agree to think about, discuss it then. I'm willing to try.
An afterthought... two weeks after I delivered the "Let's just enjoy the holidays speech" H comes to me on a Sunday night, and says... "this was a really fun weekend, huh?" SMILING! OF ALL THINGS!
I get it. I get the misery in their eyes, and stupid behavior.
Just my input!!
LOVE Storm Rider's above stuff!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
