total quarter life mlc

[Sanderika]

Hi Mdoodles,

I just caught up on your thread.

I think now that H is turning the table on you about the calls and accusing you of making the calls when it is in fact him, you need to protect yourself further. IMO your H is doing what mine has done numerous times. BLAME YOU FOR ALL HIS PROBLEMS. OW has him convinced (and trust me they believe her above everyone else - MLC Fog) that you are his biggest problem, she is filling his head with all kinds of gobbley gook lies. She is desperate. She will pull out all the stops to turn H against you. I know this first hand.

At this point in time, where calls are concerned, you need to let all calls/texts from H and OW go to voice mail and answering machines. Do not delete anything. Unless H is inquiring about your son, do not return the call. If you would like, text H and tell him I will not entertain another conversation with you unless it regards son.

Consult your lawyer on this.....I would see if H can only see son on a supervised visit basis at this point. It is not without warrant at this point with the way H and his OW are treating you. Perhaps your MIL could be the supervisor and H can see son next door and not in your home for a while. I do not think it would be wise for H to have access to the inside of your home at this time. I have a funny feeling about him right now. OW is way too psycho and he is buying into the drama and her insecurites and accusations.

Let your lawyer advise you on the delinquent bills. Take all the past due bills to the lawyer with you today including the latest mortgage statement. Show your lawyer exactly what you are facing.

This is all about protecting you and son. Leave your H to manage is own problems. You should only call H back if he wants to discuss son. If while talking H tries to engage you in another topic, you should simply say, "I am sorry H I can't discuss(____________) with with you. If you are finished talking about son, have a nice day, good bye."

I firmly believe that H needs to be left completely alone to sort this out. By removing yourself from the drama, H will not be able to blame you. You will not be a part of the problem. It will take time, he will eventually see it. He will trust me. This is how it happened here. I went a step further and didn't contact H about son either. As far as it was for H, their was no wife, son, family, home. I erased him from our daily lives. It has not been the wrong answer. My H and I had a 4 hour face to face this week and I learned a lot. I will share it on my thread as soon as I process it all in my mind.

Mdoodles, please take care and leave H alone to navigate through the fog all by himself. Go to the extreme if you have to. Don't be afraid. Create an mdoodles H will admire and respect. The only way to achieve this is to completely detach. Mdoodles you will need to take everything on all by yourself and it will take time. I did this and I have no regrets. Call it EXTREME DETACHING.

Good luck with the attorney today....jot down the topics you need to discuss so nothing is forgotten today and bring all the bills and any other pertinent documents like the information about the apartment you would like to lease. Make this a profitable visit for you. Who is watching son today?

I will be thinking about you today.....(((((HUGS))))),

Sanderika