Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

Hey, all. Feeling a little blue lately. I think it's anticipating the day I come home from work and that little piece of paper came in the mail, saying.....we're divorced. I know it's any day, now. I have been crying a lot and feeling sad about losing my marriage and my family. But, for the first time, I feel like I am finally pushing through the loss and just letting the grief process finish out. At least, that's how I'm trying to look at it. One day, there will be no more tears or sadness over the sitch. But, the memory of the pain won't ever go away...EVER.

[Tomato]

(((Blindy)))

[blindsided1]

Thanks Tomato....

I'm just waiting.....then I'll be moving over to Surviving.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

first off, do not self prophesy. if you live in fear, then you will receive bad outcomes. live in faith.

I just got some encouragement/verses from my mv upline... here's a couple and I feel they are for you.

Faith believes that Good things will happen to you. Fear believes bad things will happen to you and it immobilizes you. All successful people have faith and thus the ability to take positive action. You will create circumstances to confirm whatever you believe. You will view all situations and react to them through the lens of what you believe. Be careful what you choose to believe because you will create it and react beased on it even if it is a lie.

Matt 6:31
Therefore do not worry, saying, What shall we eat, or what shall we drink, or what shall we wear, For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


Your eczema is not a sign of bad things to come. you are under a lot of stress, and stress causes inflammation. What are you doing for yourself? are you still Galing? Don't let this thinking of more worse things to come to bring about more stress.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

and B, when your life is filled with joy, your memory of pain will be faded. it won't be that feeling of overwhelming burden that you can't bare. It will make a difference on where your focus and your heart is.

I think this D thing might be what the issue is. this is the final step, the step that you never wanted to happen, but it's okay. you are choosing the righteous and positive path and he is choosing the path of death. you cannot be dragged with him, you must follow God's path if you want to live.

I am very proud of you, I know this is the worst experience that you have been thru, and you should be proud of yourself. You are a wonderful person, as well as a wonderful mother. and you are a wonderful wife, and I'm sorry that he wasn't able to see the destruction he has caused. God has a wonderful plan for you though, and your life will be brighter and it will be full of joy. don't let these documents ruin anything that you have learned. instead take your past and learn from it, so that you will not fall into the same problems again and be thankful that the man God will give you will be a God fearing man, one who will love you and your child, and that you now have received the wisdom that God has given you thru this journey to love and respect that man too.

[blindsided1]

Thanks ST....I really needed the uplifting. xo

[Startingover2]

Checking in with you!

[blindsided1]

I'm okay. H and I actually had a decent conversation today about K. No arguing, no meanness, no attitude. We just talked about our daughter and we had to make some adjustments to one of his visits because OW's brother is getting married and I am going to keep her that weekend. I was pleasant and didn't fight him on anything. I gave him options and let him choose. I am going to try this, again. I am hoping that if I am kind and concede to some things, he will be kind back. It's a long shot. But, worth it. I am feeling calmer about him and I am trying to hold on to what love I still have for him as K's father. He makes it hard, though, most of the time. Hopefully, at pick up tomorrow, he will still be in a decent mood and everything will be alright.

Other than that, not much to say. Kinda quiet, right now. I'll take quiet over drama, anyday.

[Tomato]

hey blindy

sounds like you are of good cheer. very nice that things went decent with the discussion of things K related ....cause that is all you need him for. I will pray that more cooperation is in store for the future.

T

[blindsided1]

H's been rather nice, lately. He's actually compromising with me. I was a bit upset that he wanted to pick K up from school today because I wanted to see her after work before she left for her Dad's. Otherwise, I don't see her for 3 whole days. He agreed to let me pick her up and he would come get her from the house, later. Then he called and said that he really would rather NOT drive in the middle of rush hour (which I understand). But, he said that if I wanted to see her tomorrow, we could meet somewhere or I could call her so she can hear my voice. I know I'm being a baby. But, this is only her second weekend away with him...I'm just not used to it, yet.

But, the good news is that I get her for 3 weeks straight because he has a wedding to go to on his next visitation weekend. I'm excited about that. Too bad he'll be away from her for such a long time. But, that is his choice. He knows he is always welcome to come see her or even come take her for a couple hours after work....his choices. I just worry that she will not want to go with him in 3 weeks because I don't see how she can be attaching at this young age with such little time spent with her Dad.