It is difficult. His mother was a very controlling woman who would make huge (and I mean really huge) theatrical scenes when things were not as she wanted them.
That kind of behavior trained him not to confront her (and by association anyone, especially W) and do what he wanted on the side. He would always have her face a done deal.
One of the good things of our sitch is that we have learned to talk to each other better. I have to bring the subject up always (which can be pretty tiring) but in the last couple of months he will listen a bit. Not for long, but better than nothing.
I have tried to keep calm regardless of what he says, show him that even if I do not like it, he is entitled to his own opinion. It has worked up to a point but it is painfully slow.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
