Yay!!!!! Finally a new thread.

[25yearsmlc]

A/K,
what are you missing? (A normal h?). Honey it's what HE is missing, which is pride and shame. He has no sense of shame and his pride is misplaced by a long shot...

The property--anything inherited or gifted to an individual specifically (like inheritance really) is separate and anything you brought TO the M, IF it was kept separate which is why you should keep any and all inheritances, (you wish, right? Don't we all) but let's Say we have some rich uncle die and leave us a ton of money...keep that in a separate account you never commingle with family funds. This protects you AND btw, is usually good for tax purposes and can be protected from creditors if placed in a trust so there are lots of reasons to keep it separate so talk to a CPA if the time ever arises....and it cannot be split in half as marital assets. You could at least argue that the dining room set your parents gave you, hypothetically, is YOURS and not the "family's", so maybe keep track of that stuff. And don't let him pull what my bil did wiht the house furniture.

My bil div my older sister and He wanted the dining room stuff, the living room stuff AND the den, b/c he "gave my sister all the kid's rooms"....can you believe it? The kids stuff is THEIRS!! No it didn't work with my bil, but I had to "explain" to him 4 times why his self serving approach would hurt him in court b/c he was literally unable to see another way. His selfishness blinded him...basic fairness eluded him for quite some time. Took a lot of discussion. Finally we "counter offered HIM the kids furniture for ALL the rest" and then he thought maybe we had a point...


Kids stuff is kids stuff for wherever they are...and you split the "adult" stuff that doesn't have an obvious owner. Some heirloom given to you both, but really from one side of the family--set of dishes inherited at death but not specifcially naming you or h, should probably remain his or yours. BUT let me add something.

My h's grandmother died recently and left "me" some jewelry. 4 main pieces and our 3 kids are her only lineal descendants (God knows cousins from the woodwork are appearing, but that'a another story).
Anyhow, I wear one piece sometimes, and put the other three away for when my d's get older, and or when our s22 asks someone to marry him. Then the DIL can have it (IF she stays M to my son!!) Each child will get one of the pieces and I'll pass the 4th piece to whomever h wants. Don't know yet.
Point is I feel as if I'm "holding" it for them. I KNOW I won't sell it or give it away b/c I'm just not that type of person. The kids would have to be starving or need an organ transplant, you KWIM?

Anyhow, we who post and read here, all ache for you and in some small way I hope that lessens your suffering. We do feel your pain and wish we could make it go away. Each of us shoulders a bit of it, a part we can "handle" so that your burden is lighter.

Let yourself feel that, okay? Take care, you'll get thru this...you ARE getting thru it.

((( )))
]j-