And the next time she brings up "kicking her out of her bed", you need to state directly: "Look, I did not kick you out of bed. I told you I am moving back into MY bed. I never said you couldn't be there as well. That is your choice, not mine".
Also it sounds like you have a lack of anger in this situation. You really should be more angry about her affair. You are not showing her that you have a backbone and that your dignity will not stand for unfaithfulness. Have you read the No More Mr. Nice Guy book? Sounds like you need it. Otherwise, you may find yourself really blowing up one day!
