By bringing up the suject I meant subject of retrouvaille. We've been separated close to 8 months, living apart (both 32, no kids, he just graduated business school and feels like he has this new lease on life, and i did not appreciate him enough etc etc).
I gave him info about Retro close to a month ago... brought it up 2 weeks ago and he said "what's the point if I've already made up my mind (that he wants a divorce)?" I've spoken with many people at local Retro chapters and it sounds wonderful. I brought it up when we had dinner on sunday, and again today (given that i wont see him for close to 2 months), and he said 'give it up - i don't want to do it and i want to start the D process... Maybe read my earlier thread here if you have a sec. I feel like I've tried everything. He has the # for retro program on the forms i've given him and said to call if he has questions. I even said ok please go as a last resort and if you want out at the end of the weekend i will give you D.
Are you suggesting that he call Retro people himself? Should I do this now or at end of summer when he returns (we'll still have a couple wks before the session begins)? I am terrified by my bringing it up several times across the past months i've pushed him away more...but regardless of what i do/say, he has been telling me consistently across the past 6 months he's done and moving on and i should too.
I look at this at one last attempt to save my marriage, or just have been communication...he tells me it's false hope that i want him to go to this... i told him i'd pay and everything... do i basically keep pressuring/drag him there.
Thanks for your thoughts Goldey. I only wish he'd go... that's all I want right now. I am terrified my marriage is over - it sounds like he is totally done and feels like there is too much past hurt (even though no infidelity or abuse or anything like that, just hurtful things said over the yrs) to get beyond it. I want to just go for healing/closure I tell him. Maybe when he comes back he'll change his mind? or is this all totally false hope? Any other ideas you have would be great... was your marriage almost done when you went?
