Do NOT push C if he's not willing. My H refused. Still refuses. HOWEVER, I did gt him to agree to the Mort Fertel program as a compromise.....he still complains about doing it, but he's doing it. He's putting into practice what we have learned. I basically told him as he was going to his lawyer, I will contest this divorce on the grounds we sought no professional counseling. He went to his lawyer with that. His lawyer, I'm sure, told him what mine told me: The judge will ask "Are there children in this marriage? Yes? Oh then absolutley, go seek therapy. See you in six months." So he agreed to it. He says his lawyer did not tell him that, but I have my doubts. He said he wanted to try it to say for sure he did everything....whatever.
But he's doing it. It's sincere and it's helping. A lot.
My H's symptoms: EA that evolved to a few kisses here and there, maybe more, not going to there. Not going to ask. Selfish beyond selfish. "I have to do what I have to do to make me happy now....S will understand." OK, good one. Partying with much younger co-workers. One of them asked me "Who's June Cleaver? What's 'The Fonz' mean?" Yes, I laughed. Said it was a kind of knife and the Fonz was a sex thing. Exercised like a mad man. He does look really good though. Bought some snazzy suits. I even went with him for this particular party. So at least I got to pick them. Did not go crazy with the accounts, but did get a little bit crazy with one credit card as he had to be Big Man on Campus a few nights out. I think this all started about the time his Celica died and he had to have an Acura. "I have an image to keep up....." Seriously?
But, knock on wood, things have really turned. One of the triggers for his fog lifting....I stopped caring, as far as he could tell. I started to really plan my life without him. He hates to be alone, so that was a real kick in the face....how dare me do that? But it helped a lot.
