Hey twin... can't add anymore to what was already so well said.
I do rely in my intuition a lot, but as talitsa said a bit less now. The reason for it is the issues at hand are still too painful and yes there is a tendency to take any single thing and relate it to what happened. It is not always so.
I know. Everytime H would come home in a different mood, or something out of the routine happened, I used to wonder. ANd then to get anxious.. and then to start doing things like mentaly count shirts!! It took me a while to be able to remind myself that everyone has ups and downs. A harder day at work, some problem with the car, or just one of those days. And that they don't have to come attached to the affair.
I would suggest that for a bit now you concentrate on the positives and try to put aside the rest. If your H is anything like mine, it will take him a while until he is ready to her how you feel and understand it or even just relate to it. Anythign that you can say now will will just bounce in the defence armour.ANd the ricochet is not always pleasant.

Maybe you can do a scrapbook - I wrote about it in another post but can't remember which. Just gather bits and pieces of all the nice and reassuring things happening. A bil or a menu of a restaurant where you went just last week that brought such a nice time, a picture of some special moment, a ticket to someplace you went or just a note from a nice day together that you wrote down to make you feel better. Put them all together and look trough it when you're feeling like you need to count shirts. It might take your mind a bit of what's worrying you right now. If that doesn't work do whatever works for you. ANything that can help take your mind of the worries.
Firts time I used to "bang" on the piano for 15 minutes. I'm not sure if it helped much though, but the guy that came to tune it had a smile on his face :)
No really find something that really takes you somewhere else where is calm and relaxing and use it in times like this.
You can only control yourself. But if you can do it right you really have a different handle on the situation and it will feel like in a way you can control the situation too.
Hugsies
nightshade

"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "