My W's reaction has for a long time been exactly as yours - "I don't have any feelings for you and don't want to go through any program where they try to convince me to have those feelings" I don't want to go if my W is just going to try to hold onto that, so I am trying to pressure gently.
Even if she holds to this position you never know what might happen. I have heard miraculous stories about people having complete turnarounds in their opinions about the M. Mine didn't, but the stories you hear there are certainly inspiring and can make your problems seem small in comparison possibly, giving you hope.
Orich - I was on pins and needles waiting for my W to talk to the host as well since she wasn't convinced. We acknowledged that she was invovled with someone else (she called it a 'friend') and I told her she needed to end it before going to R and she said she wouldn't so I wasn't sure what she would do. The host convinced her that even if she was talking to someone else (didn't know the extent at the time) it can't hurt to try to strengthen the M, etc etc and she agreed to go.
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
