Thinker - My W didn't want to go to Retro either and changed her mind after talking to the host as well. She was agreeing to go primarily due to pressure from me and my MIL. She wanted to be able to say she tried it I think, and also stated that it might help us communicate better as co-parents, etc. if we D. That was the one reason she stated why she was going.

A the time she was deeply into an EA. I didn't realize how intense it was and it definitely made it hard for her to get anything out of Retro, but I have read stories where A was actively going on and Retro turned the WAS around. She kept saying she didn't have 'feelings' for me and that she didn't want to ahve to CHOOSE to have feelings (becuase she was attached to OM I figured later). It turns out that the whole time we were goign she was mocking the whole thing in her conversations with OM, however (that hurt). She also wavered off and on about the post sessions due to fluctuations in her EA, but we made it through all of them.


I think you are in a good situation since OM is not around anymore?? I would have loved to go to Retro NOW, when Ws EA had calmed down a bit (but there is still some contact with OM happening). It may have had more impact on her. I still plan on taking up some of the material and working with it if she decides to R.

Either way, it was a moving experience for me and helped me sort out my priorities and acknowledge my contributions to our M problems.

Good Luck - are you still scheduled for Sept or did you find an earlier session?


Last edited by tryingtilDorR; 07/15/09 05:04 PM.
ME/XW:47
S21, D19, S15, S14
M:21 T:26
W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12
W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline