Thanks, aak.. Looking. Looking...There it is. Nope, don't see it. Can't see it. Wait a minnit. Nope. Aarrrgghhh! Not being facetious or a wisea$$. Not sure I really get your point. Could be because I'm looking for more than your obvious point. But I'm pressed for time. Will ponder later. Thanks.
My two cents. You are very hard on yourself (I can relate). You may be attempting to pursue this like a marathon at the end of which you win the trophy (W)...at a certain point I don't believe there is a chance the WAS will forgive or believe your changes if you are still grasping for how to break through to them. One who is strong and secure and more desirable judges him/herself by his/her own standards (now that you are on such a positive track you can probably trust yourself more).
In spite of all the progress, it is important to be mindful of the inherent suffering in these sitches. I can't remember if it was you who commented on the article I posted about mindfulness therapy. Very basically, you know that pain and suffering are parts of life and parts of you and you refrain from resisting or trying to avoid those feelings. You live and know they are there and they don't own you.
I keep thinking that if I was evolved enough, I could get through this without so much pain, but my best days are one's in which I let it be. I am human.
I love your proclamation "The Lord Giveth detachment..." Throughout the years whether you and W are back together or not, you may have moments that hit you or hurt or feel too attached. It is ok.
So, you, all of you, including a rough night, or sad feelings, or questions on here, or humility, confusion, whatever are all ok. You are a good and sincere guy it seems. Again, I think you can trust yourself more and accept that you are human.
