I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

Had counseling yesterday. My C suggested that I ask my W for her thoughts, maybe even advice, on what to do about the living situation. I have to be out of my rented place in 10 days, and I have only enough $$ to get another place for maybe 2 months... If it is unfurnished, I'll need to start taking things from the condo the W is living in - OUR condo. By the way, why is it "I" have to be the one to leave...??? She's the one who wanted out in the first place.

Well, anyway, C says it would be a 180 for me to ask her advice in my situation... She said to leave to question open-ended. Not to give her a limited set of options. I can explain how we were looking at a shortage of money real soon, and there just is not enough to maintain two households on one income...period! We are reacing a crossroads of sorts, because she'll be starting school in just over a month, and the kids will too, so there are scheduling issues as well, perhaps childcare issues, there's still the money issue.... Something has to give here real soon.

C told me she has noticed some real changes (for the better) in me, and she assures me that W must be noticing too. She still wants me to work in a few more 180's, not in behavior, but perhaps in approaching her, and communicating with her. So, this morning, I called her on a whim of sorts, just to say "hi" and to wish her a good day. It went pretty well, and she stayed on and talked to me for a few minutes, by her own will. It was friendly and pleasant. I terminated the conversation, as I was getting ready to leave for work.

So, I might have to have that 'living situation' conversation in the next day or two...probably via telephone, maybe after the kids are in bed, so she's not interrupted by them. Of course, the hope is that she would see how things are going, and that the crossroads is near. I would hope to be able to live at home in my own home again, but I'm not sure if she's ready for that. Regardless, something has to give, because there's just not enough $$ for two homes. Maybe that's a good thing.

As much as I hate to, the situation dictates that it's time to stir the pot...

And then there's the letter I am going to write... Counselor's thought / suggestion... That's a topic for another post.