It is ok to go up and down a little. And yes, we all entertain the thought about what would just be "easier". In some ways it would be easier to just start over. Sticking this out, especially with no guarantees of anything, requires you to look at yourself, change yourself in ways you probably never dreamed, and have more patience than most people. Time on your knees is good. The right answers will come for you when you spend time that way. No one can tell you what choice to make, even God, but if you ask, he will show you your choices and you will be able to make your decision from there. And your decision could change down the road. But He is asking you to make a choice.
After the bomb, first I was told to heal, then I was told to make my home, then I was shown that I had to make a choice. The choice actually took me a long time. Once I had, then I was told that I knew what my choice was and it was time to Let Go, and Let God. Well, I thought I had done that, I had but I kept taking it back. I have finally let go completly and am trusting Him to resolve this as He sees fit. So you are being challenged now, but once you choose, things will become easier.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
