We may have a chance after all

[optimist]

2. He will keep me involved in his office (I have no intention of letting this happen again).

You say "keep" you involved. What are some of the ways he's doing this now? What things do you do that seem to help encourage him doing this? When is he involving you most often, and what are both you and he doing during these times?

I meant 'keep' as a future and permanent effort. Right now I have no idea about his office finances, his billing or the money he makes or does not make. OW has total control over those things. He used to tell me it was barely able to support his mother (who was sick at the time) and since the final numbers in our tax returns made sense I never suspected that he was mantaining the OW and her daughters in the side. I even felt bad about asking him, because my bussiness was going so well and he might feel bad about the difference in earnigs (men tend to not like it when their wifes make more money than they do). Stupid, was I not? But I trusted him.

So far he has not even tried to get me involved in his office. When I mention the topic he resents it (big red flag) and quickly says he is going to close the office.

5. He will be able to tell me things he does not like without feeling he is letting me down (getting better).

What's different during the times when it's better? What are you yourself doing during these times that might be making it easier for him? What are some specific things that you can do more of to get these positive responses from him?

I think I listen more. But I have to ask, he never volunteers the info. I will quote myself from my prior thread:

But he does not talk about his feelings or our plans or that W. Actually one of the things he had complained about was that when I asked him if he was OK and he did not tell me I would not sit down with him and make him tell me. So I tried a couple of times, but he would get upset at me. I pointed nicely to him that he had asked me to ask but we did not get anywhere...