Fallgirl`s Second Thread

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Ok, here`s my take:

Your H is pulled. Torn between nis fantasy world, OW, maybe army culture, long stints from home on the one hand, New You, his adoring kids, his family values on the other.

This makes sense.

His selling car, taking you off c card acc, and changing relationship status on facebook may just be olive branches to OW. She must know he`s spending more time with his family than before, she may even have seen pics of you, knows the kids he truly loves are so upset by all of this.Knows her position is precarious.

OW is not on his FB (yet), but with his profile mostly visible the olive branch makes sense. I am sure she knows he is spending a ton of time here--hence the three trips in less than 2 months. As for pics, I hope to heck she has seen some! Darn straight her position is precarious--as D9 likes to say, "daddy doesn't realize God is in control, not him." OW might as well realize it, too!

Your dbing your ass off and doing so well. What does she have that you don`t?

No small kids at home, she is not right here to cause a constant conflict of interests, she probably makes no demands.

Maybe you mother him too much. Maybe he`s stopped(to some degree) seeing you in a sexual light(hence his silence as he tries to cope with the possibility of your having a BF) He may feel you`ll always be there so he can have the best of both worlds.

Stopped the mothering last year when he took over the bills ans was such a jerk. Don't know about the sexual, as I have caught him admiring me, especially in low cut tops. Still lots of silence concerning my trips out of town--I leave in two days and he is still not talking about it. I WILL always be here, but my "BF" may be making him wonder about that.

Yes, I think he`s drifting closer. Your D17 noticed and girls her age are tuned in to such things. Your kids have noticed the changes in you(you`re hot! as one of them said) he has too.So as you pull him towards you, perhaps OW is pulling on the other end.

I do not know if it is because D17 has noticed something or if it is because all of my positive affirmations, coupled with D9's, are starting to convince her. She is a tough not, though, so she may be seeing something I am not. Yes, D6 is GREAT for my self- esteem. She tells me everyday how pretty I am. Let her pull, I know what God has promised and I am putting no pressure on him.

All she can do is indulge his sexual fantasies.

Okay, that I did not need to hear. Cause if that is the case, with the +15 year age difference, she is feeding a latent Oedipus Complex I did not realize existed.

I think if you mother him less(no more free food) and indulge his need for eye candy more he may realise he`s on the wrong ship.

Well, I do not know how to avoid the food issue without hurting the kids, but I do have the eye candy thing down. I am always perfectly groomed--hair, makeup, contacts in daily, perfume. Maybe it is time to change perfumes. Everything I wear are ones he bought me. There are others I like, so maybe I need to go pick up something a little more sensual.

Thanks for this FG! The outside perspective is soo good to hear!!

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW