Well, in H's defense he just texted offering to call me so I could explain what was happening with them. I texted him back but told him I am not going to tell him this stuff anymore because I want them to trust me and it is very important to them that they enjoy their time with him and they will bring this up when they are ready. And, that I know that regardless of what he says, he knows what they are going through. I did appreciate his concern and acknowledged it but not ready for a conversation.
On the income thing, Hun, I actually think I would take a six figure job if I could get one...depending on the hours ...I don't remember what I was saying in that post but it wasn't so much about me not wanting to make six figures more about me not wanting to disappear (as you related to) and me not laboring the way his and my mom did. I DO want a career though and I would and will work normal work hours in a heart beat. My kids need me sane more than anything.
One other ironic thing in that journal entry was regarding financial status in childhood (the book asks numerous questions), H said in there that his dad was always broke but took them on fancy vacations and his mom always worked multiple jobs to take care of them!!!
Oopsy, one of my entries said that my first thoughts about marriage were "what's the point? I'd be better off single and successful" and what I hoped for in a spouse "Me but as a man"...yikes, I guess my expectations were a bit skewed. Interestingly, one entry states something about my belief that we are all responsible for our own choices and feelings and my description of my spirituality was very similar to what it is now...
Anyway, yes I bathe...every day too. My kids, they stink.
I have family. I don't fear being homeless, I am just going to have to have faith that we can have a joyous time even if it is tough for a while. I wanted my kids' childhoods to be carefree and in nature and peaceful...I will still try to create that.
Thanks for the advice on the kids. I think I did a swell job and I'm glad they have me. And, their dad does relish his time with them, whether it is out of guilt or for show, doesn't matter, they are really craving that from him. Of course, I have to be the disciplinarian which is challenging but I keep reminding myself that is my job.
The higher power connection comes and goes. My intellectual belief trails behind my heart belief (IYKWIM), I think meditation helps with that because it gets all of the monkey mind out of the way and I can connect on a deeper level rather than talking myself in and out of believing.
I will probably set up a FB alias soon. So wiped out. It would be great to meet you. No 2x4s in person okay?
...I don't remember what I was saying in that post but it wasn't so much about me not wanting to make six figures more about me not wanting to disappear (as you related to) and me not laboring the way his and my mom did. I DO want a career though and I would and will work normal work hours in a heart beat. My kids need me sane more than anything.
