New Post for Wifey

[The Wifey]

I am standing strong today. More strong than I've felt this past weekend. I just sent this (VERY non DB) letter to my husband:

No guilt trips, DH. This is just reality. I love you. I would do anything for you. I want more than anything for you to be happy.

It does not matter what you say. I love you. I may be a stupid fool but I promised to love you forever and that is what I intend to do. I took marriage vows and I will live them and stand for our marriage. They will have to break down my door and come in with guns and force my fists open and make me take separation papers. They will have to cut off my finger to take off my wedding rings.

If I have to love you and be alone at the same time then I better grow a thick skin fast because I have honestly tried not to love you. I have tried and I can not stop. I do not want anyone else and I never will.

You will come to realize that we belong to each other. It may take years for you to see that. But there is no one else I would rather wait for the rest of my life than you. I do not care how I am judged by anyone, except you.

I will make you proud of me, baby. You will see that we are better together than alone. There will come a time that you will feel alone, and I will be there for you. I will be waiting for you with complete forgiveness and open arms.

Feel free to swing the 2x4's because God put this on my heart to put on paper. My FIL told me in many ways H thinks he can not be a man because of his ED. H as much as told FIL that he can't fill that roll and it isn't fair to me. (Far be it for me to point out yet again that nothing gets fixed without a doctor.)

This is not denial. This isn't looking the opposite direction from reality. I have time, all the time in the world. I have the rest of my life. I intend to go on and have the richest fullest life of my own, while still loving my H.

Its just one more part of life that can get you hung up if you expect it to be fair. It isn't fair and it isn't easy. We all have choices to make and I made mine April 10, 1987. Reaffirmed this date, July 13, 2009. Signed. Sealed. Decided. Done.

[givingitmyall]

Then I went fishing for a while.

A woman after my own heart. Haven't been fishing in a few weeks and need to get out there.

Hang in there.

[The Wifey]

Then I went fishing for a while.

A woman after my own heart. Haven't been fishing in a few weeks and need to get out there.

Hang in there.

Well what is stopping you? I have personally caused the demise of many dozens of Canadian nightcrawlers. (Not fishing, drowning worms, here's yer sign.)

KJ

[Tomato]

I am standing strong today. More strong than I've felt this past weekend. I just sent this (VERY non DB) letter to my husband:

No guilt trips, DH. This is just reality. I love you. I would do anything for you. I want more than anything for you to be happy.

It does not matter what you say. I love you. I may be a stupid fool but I promised to love you forever and that is what I intend to do. I took marriage vows and I will live them and stand for our marriage. They will have to break down my door and come in with guns and force my fists open and make me take separation papers. They will have to cut off my finger to take off my wedding rings.

If I have to love you and be alone at the same time then I better grow a thick skin fast because I have honestly tried not to love you. I have tried and I can not stop. I do not want anyone else and I never will.

You will come to realize that we belong to each other. It may take years for you to see that. But there is no one else I would rather wait for the rest of my life than you. I do not care how I am judged by anyone, except you.

I will make you proud of me, baby. You will see that we are better together than alone. There will come a time that you will feel alone, and I will be there for you. I will be waiting for you with complete forgiveness and open arms.

Feel free to swing the 2x4's because God put this on my heart to put on paper. My FIL told me in many ways H thinks he can not be a man because of his ED. H as much as told FIL that he can't fill that roll and it isn't fair to me. (Far be it for me to point out yet again that nothing gets fixed without a doctor.)

This is not denial. This isn't looking the opposite direction from reality. I have time, all the time in the world. I have the rest of my life. I intend to go on and have the richest fullest life of my own, while still loving my H.

Its just one more part of life that can get you hung up if you expect it to be fair. It isn't fair and it isn't easy. We all have choices to make and I made mine April 10, 1987. Reaffirmed this date, July 13, 2009. Signed. Sealed. Decided. Done.

Quite the proclamation. And one that I am surely proud of you for

Better watch out for people from VA though they have this opposing stance to M and they try and talk people down from such seemingly perilous martyr like stands.

There .....that should stir the pot a bit!! LD= laughing diabolically!

LD LD LD

Ted

[Tomato]

In an attempt at seriousness and only an attempt, I am confident that it will be a sensational w/e for you two (I guess that's when she is coming out)

Where'd you perhaps allude to that you reside at ...Canada ....something about Canadian nightcrawlers.

uuueeww Inspector Clouseau here ..and now I 180 back to unseriousness . I like it better that way ..lol

[The Wifey]

Thank you for the morning chuckle Tomato. One thing I have found is the unseriousness is vitally important in order to travel the DB road.

I live in upstate NY, but it is close enough to import the nightcrawlers.

And the response from the letter:

drumroll please,

wait for it,

wait,

(via email)

"Wow. You blow me away W. This is the most positive statement I have ever heard from you in your entire life. I don't know what to say.

Actually, I do. Let's just continue working on our friendship for right now. A solid friendship is the true base to all good relationships. I don't know where we will be in the future, but we will be connected forever.

Just give it time, don't get down. I can't promise you anything right now. I can't be responsible for your happiness, nor can you be responsible for mine. You want me to try. Right now I am trying in the way that I can.

We have time. Lets just see how it goes.

Sleep tight, W."

[mindfull]

Wifey:

Actually, I think that's pretty positive coming from someone so set on making sure you understand you're just friends!!!

I don't have time now, but I have a great (new) fishing story for you.

I'm SO jealous of you and SMW!! Have a blast ladies! Don't burn the wienie's!

[The Wifey]

She is here!!!!!! We would have posted sooner, but you know how us women are - we have been talking and talking, and well, talking. : )

[The Wifey]

I am reading a really good Dr Phil (Phillip C McGraw) book I borrowed from my M that I recommend for all of us DBers. It is called Life Strategies.

The first few chapters have focused on how we are accountable for anything we have in our life, good or bad. That doesn't always mean solely responsible, but always accountable.

What actions we choose, what we say, our reactions, things we don't say or do, what we acknowledge, the warning signs we ignore, etc etc account for what we have in life.

Its a real wake-up call to anyone to take charge of their lives and certainly applicable when you are trying to DB.

It was so sad to drop Laura off at the airport. I know she missed the littles and all, but we were having so much fun. Boo.

I am going to make plans to return the visit. My sister is in North Carolina, only a short distance from Laura, so I can visit them both.

[The Wifey]

Quick Journal:

H asked me to have dinner on Thursday, before I picked SMW up. I agreed and left the plans to him.

Too funny and so predictable, he asks as he leaves work if I have any suggestions for dinner. I suggest the town next to ours, since I had to go to the store afterward. Then he asks what type of food. (This is the man that wanted to be the man, and make the plans, etc.) I said whatever you want. I am leaving the house, just tell me where I'm going.

Again, a man of habit, he says Applebee's. (I knew it would be one of 3 places and I didn't have a preference.) Dinner was nice and so was the company. He was really curious about Laura coming to visit. H even followed me to Wal-Mart after to see the pictures I ordered to know what she looked like.

I did stop Saturday night to introduce SMW to my in-laws. H made himself scarce. Don't know where he was.

Sunday after dropping SMW at the airport I hung around until close to noon and had lunch with a young lady, that used to date my nephew, for her birthday. Turns out her boyfriend of more than a year broke it off with her the night before her birthday. I think I was able to give her some advice and coping skills for her to try.

Came home and mowed. Mower therapy is always good for the soul. : )

Sunday evening I had plans to see my parents. S went to the in-laws after he was done with work and asked me to stop off. I did, H was there. I barely looked at or talked to him, mostly talked to MIL and S. Didn't ignore him, but didn't make any effort to engage him.

When I was leaving I said goodbye to everyone and told S I would see him at my M's. I turned and walked out and went to my car.

H scooted out the door real fast behind me to walk me to the car. H reached out to hug me and I hugged him back and then turned to my car and said goodbye. No real conversation took place and it was actually a good thing.

I've been working more on detaching in the last couple of weeks and I just didn't feel like making any more effort than I had. I wouldn't have even stopped if S hadn't called and said MIL wanted me to.

Had fun with my family. My S decided to leave Tuesday to head back to NC instead of Monday, so I will have one more day with the cute Nephew and the princess Niece.

Off to mow the back yard and then I'm off to visit. I'm hoping my sister will let me take him fishing. He's never seen a fish up close and I would love to show him what they look and feel like.