I was thinking more along the lines of pouring your heart out to a buddy over two bottles of wine, or bawling your guts out into a pillow in the bathroom so D1 doesn't hear you. THAT sorta thing.
I was thinking more along the lines of pouring your heart out to a buddy over two bottles of wine, or bawling your guts out into a pillow in the bathroom so D1 doesn't hear you. THAT sorta thing.
LOL... I dunno man I'm just into turning that anger into something productive.
Update though:
I spoke with W for about 30 minutes. This was our first post-March legal brawl conversation. I discussed things regarding the legal situation such as cancellations, etc. and she claimed not to know that her lawyer had canceled her depositions or that she had even had others scheduled. Said she wasn't aware of the legal situation or what was happening.
I did some "no no" R-talk. Disparaged OM, the whole 9 yards.
I also told her that I didn't like her. I told her I knew she didn't like me. I don't know if our M would ever amount to much if we tried. I did tell her that we owed it to ourselves to at least go to a counselor and not let the M end due to an affair.
Got the "I'll think about it" she was giving me back in February.
It was cordial at least. She listened for the most part. Nothing accomplished other than to put the thoughts there I guess. Can't reason with an infidel.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
D1 was doing well this morning. She was playing with a drum set. I wasn't her primary focus as she had lots of toys, but she did get me to pick her up and leaned against my legs several times. I handed W her monthly tribute this morning. Received a "thank you" in response.
My L is set to meet with her L to allegedly come up with a doctor/date for the evaluation.
I won't hold my breath.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
Nothing from the L's today. W however sent me a picture of D1 getting her hair cut and acted extremely nice and talked about how proud she was of her, and things of that nature.
Did I hit home during our conversation yesterday or is this a trap?
I don't know. Consider it a 180 from what I was doing.
My disparagement of OM yesterday was something along these lines:
Quote:
Me: So how much money has he put towards your legal fees?
W: ...
Me: Let me know if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that you are paying who knows how much money to an attorney, lying to everyone, just so that you can spread your legs for a loser who lives with his mommy, doesn't even want children, and who has no ability to take care of himself much less you and a child, and he apparently just lost his job.
W: ...
Me: I mean I may be wrong. Let me know if I am.
W: ...
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
What's your goals? I don't see how calling her a liar and ho would help you further them? I assume you either are open to reconciliation or if not, at least want to have a decent co-parenting relationship? I don't think those kind of comments will get you there. But I had a time or 2 when I acted like that, too. My feeling is it makes it easier for your W to detach and justify her behaviors when you treat her like that.
What's your goals? I don't see how calling her a liar and ho would help you further them? I assume you either are open to reconciliation or if not, at least want to have a decent co-parenting relationship? I don't think those kind of comments will get you there. But I had a time or 2 when I acted like that, too. My feeling is it makes it easier for your W to detach and justify her behaviors when you treat her like that.
Karen
Well, for some reason it seems to have made her start acting nicer. For the short term anyway. Especially since she makes up stupid allegations of rape, abuse, etc. that fall apart under questioning and I'm not supposed to feel anything?
I think what kicked off my desire for the conversation was reviewing her deposition transcript and noticing how full of crap she was on virtually every topic beyond "What is your name and address?"
That part of the "disparaging" was about 2% of the total conversation. Most of the conversation I was discussing the kids, etc.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
D1 was doing okay this morning. I sat up on the window sill, and she followed me and wanted to get up on it also, so I picked her up and sat her down next to me... then 4 other kids wanted to do the same thing so I had to get off and before you know it there were 5 kids sitting up on the window sill kicking their legs. D1 grinned at me and got me to pick her up off the window.
She did spit up a little, so I helped clean that up. Otherwise things looked good.
Anyway... what are my goals with W? At this point I've been conducting a war and W says she was unaware of exactly how bad of a position she is in legally.
I feel like I'm playing chess with a three year old, and am unable to explain what checkmate means so that they can understand it.
W is obviously 'fogged' but she isn't in the 'angry' fog right now, more in the "Oh crap I've ended up in a crap situation and it doesn't make sense but I'm going to do it anyway" fog.
It almost feels like she would listen to reason if she was capable of reason. But all I would expect is the wishy washy "I dunno" and "Maybe" and "I'll think about it" answers that led us to where we are.
She seemed semi-lucid anyway in our conversation.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
