D18 is doing what she SHOULD be doing! Amen! Halleluliah!!!
H called this afternoon... checking on "the situation," and told me he had been thinking about it, and we absolutely did the right thing, together...
Weird. Adding the together, like we don't handle these things together otherwise, but OKAY! I'll take that.
NOW back to our regularly scheduled programming, where were those GOALS again?
#1 - To attract some kind of interest from H.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - Limit my initiation of contact w/H (while he is away working during the week) to required contact re: children.
OK, I HAVE done this... Didn't initiate convo w/H today, and he called me, checking in on D18, wanting to know what's going on, etc... I'm NOT going to initiate convo when he's gone.
#2 - To enjoy a non-kid event together.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - Make sure I don't have any kind of "meltdowns" in his presence anymore. Smile. Enjoy. Be someone H wants to be around, w/ and w/out kids.
My BFF and her H may invite us to dinner this weekend at H's NEW favorite restaurant on Sat night. Hope this happens!!!
#3 - To have a physical presence I'm proud of.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - STOP relaxing the weight loss/exercise efforts!
I have SUCKED at this one. Diet, exercise has not been good (I did walk three miles in weights today, though!), but, hey my haircut is cuteQ!
#4 - To allow my H to LEAD, and not PUSH from my end.
WHAT TO DO DIFFERENT - Let H make decisions. Ask him for advice. If I sense he's not comfortable w/something we're doing/deciding on, step back and allow him to have a voice.
I've done a lot of this lately. I would give myself a solid B, if graded!!! (I notice letting him lead in this D18 situation has made him come to me for approval on what he's done now. That can't be that good, but I'm giving him positive and encouraging feedback.)
Last edited by mindblank; 07/15/0903:28 AM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
