WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[MrBond]

Wow we were starting to get worried there.

After reading over the sitch it's obvious your W hasn't moved psychologically/emotionally from where she has been.

"I told her that really not true as what I would want is to have her and the boys go with me so we can have a fresh start."

No no no. You shouldn't have mentioned her at all. Just what YOU want that doesn't include her. This totally sets you up for her blaming you for things EVERY time.

"She started saying that she hasn't moved on as she is still hurting and is so lonely and sad. She said that it still hurts her to see me as I still do things that hurt her."

Stop stop stop taking her blame. You hardly even see her so how the hell are you hurting her? WHACK WHACK WHACK. Get some of your self-respect back!

"She then said that she had grown up without a dad and I had grown up without a dad and can't believe that is what I am going to do the boys."

See, this is what I call crazy talk. She's the one breaking up the family, yet is going back to blaming you.

"Then she asked why do I am approaching the job offer as a way to move on. Why can't I take the job offer and keep looking for something in this area? I asked is that what she really wants me to do, is there a reason why I shouldn't move on."

Because if you're not there, who else is she going to blame? She just admitted to you that she is lonely. What? And you and your boys aren't? More WA selfishness there.

"She said that she was working on herself (those books - Science of Success and The Secret; and the DVD's)."

Those aren't "self help" materials. They are getting what you wish for things. They aren't about making yourself a better person. You should have called her out on that one and said you had a list of better ones.

"She then started down the path of how she sees how I've changed and I'm trying so hard, but she just doesn't know who I am. She said I was one way when she fell in love with me and then another way when we got married and now I'm someone she doesn't even like. I told her that she will never know for sure if she doesn't even try. Then I also said that I see that she's hurting and wished that I could help, but I think it is something that she has to work through in herself. If there was anything, that she needs to let me know."

Did I say it enough times? She's blaming you for everything when she has done nothing to solve her own issues.

"She said yes with a smile and then popped one of her breast out to show me. I was, of course, happy to see it, but I still thought it was odd."

Okay that's just weird and kind of "Fatal Attraction"-ish.

"She then said she was upset about not selling the house and the fact that I'll just have the "fun times" with the boys. She said that it's just like when we were married how I just got to make all the decisions."

If it works out to 50/50 time how the heck is it "fun times" with the boys?"

You should have called her out on that one especially when she said you got to make all the decisions. Unbelievable!

Well we all said it before and we'll say it again. Like it says in DR, if something doesn't work, stop! Let her go and stop asking her out. I don't think you realize how much of a doormat she's treating you like.