I am glad to see that you are getting out there, and deciding what you want in life. However, PLEASE stop talking about yourself the way you do. There is NO reason to be ashamed of yourself. NONE! You married a woman you loved, and loved her. Yes, you may have turned a blind eye, or even allowed things to go on because you loved her and hoped for the best in her to return. What's wrong with that? Be proud that you tried so hard to find good in her, that you were hoping the woman you married would come back. I see nothing wrong in anything you did in trying to save your marriage.
You may have been deceived and tricked, but none of that falls on you! This is what was done TO you, and how you proceed from here is on you. She was the one who turned her back on someone who would have been there, who would have loved and supported her to the ends of the earth I imagine. Shame on HER, not you!
Just had to say that.
Keep looking for the positive. Even when it gets rough, you made it, and now is when the rest of your life starts. I'm also sure at some point it was good, so it wasn't a total loss, just didn't end the way you would have liked, and again, its HER loss.
