she just replied saying ummmntrag there is. you treat me like Sh^t. you're not treatin gme like a person or a friend. and you forgot about tuesday. you don't miss me and you don't want to get back with me. you act like you don't care. i poured my heart out to you and you threw it back in my face.
ok HELP!!!! should i just say nothings wrong and i didn't mean for it to ever seem like that. i'm sorry that you do. ?????
M: I'm sorry that u feel like that. i wasn't trying for it to seem that way
W: it doesn't seem like anything. That's how it is. You hurt me and i'm not messing around anymore. i wanted you to show me you wanted me back but you showed me you don't give a rat's ass about me. i poured my heart out to you. you f^cking sh^t on it.
M: I'm really sorry if that is how u feel. ive had alot going on lately. what exactly was it that i supposed to show you?
W: I came down there and showed you that i still love you and wanted to work this out. you forgot me. you forgot us and now i'm really just done with it. i'm so angry and hurt and uh! i'm just sick of this.
M: I said we could do it another day. i meant it. i'm free tomorrow right now.
W: I'm not. i have alife too. i'm not dropping my life for you when you can't even keep our plans. i mean nothing to you.
M: I do care that u are upset. that wasn't my intentions and they never have been that way.
W: Stop talking to me like you didn't spend two years of your f^cking life with me! i'm not a f^cking stranger!
M: I know ur not a stranger. This would be easier if we talked.
W: No we don't need to talk. if you need something then you can call me. But you've shown me you dont need me so no. why don't f^cking go out with your F^cking new b^tch cause that's the only time you forget your phone at a f^cking friends. you're a f^cking liar. You swore on F^cking cassie. i can't even imagine why you would lie to me about some sh^t like that. I f^cking loved you so god d^mned much and you f^cking stomped on my f^cking heart.
M: It's ur choice if u don't want to talk to me. i'm more then willing to listen to what you have to say.
M: Wow. ok. you've said enough W. I was giving u the benefit of the doubt. and so u know I WAS TELLING U THE TRUTH.
W then called 10 minutes later. lol
she started opening up and was calm but half on the verge of tears the whole time. she said how badly she wanted to come up and work on things and when it didn't happen how she felt like i didn't care and that it doesn't matter anymore. she told me she's happy she's getting to do everything she's wanted to do where she is, but she isn't happy because now she realizes she wanted to share all those things with me. she said she didn't want to share them when we together because she said she always wanted to be able to do them on her own. now she says she realizes the complete opposite, how she wants to be with me and knows she doesn't NEED to be with me.
she sounded very sincere, however, she's saying she's given up. lol. maybe she has, wouldn't be the first time i guess. she didn't sound like she's given up by any means, she even said she wants me to just tell her that i've moved on so she can stop having false hope we get back together.
i'm not contacting her. she can call. she doesn't sound like she's done to me, so i'll leave it at that.
btw, i didn't really say too much. only that i'm impressed with her how she's handling herself and the things she's been thinking about. i also said that i do still care and am glad to hear she's been doing well otherwise. she said all that other stuff doesn't really matter because i'm not there to share it with her.
you know what never mind. going back and thinking about everything and rereading what i just wrote, why am i bothering again. i let her suck me back into this drama. i was doing so good the last 5 days. she's not coming home and we're not getting back together. thinking otherwise is stupidity on my part.
[quote]i let her suck me back into this drama. i was doing so good the last 5 days. she's not coming home and we're not getting back together. thinking otherwise is stupidity on my part.
Yes. You most certainly did let her suck you back into the drama.
You can't afford many backslides like this. As long as you let her anger control you, then YES, you are doomed. You can save this by following the script. Don't veer off the script.
The following quote is the whole key to her mindset...
Quote:
W then called 10 minutes later. lol
It is almost always the one in pursuit mode that makes that one last call back, that one last thig they needed to say. You had her moving in the right direction. If you would have stood your ground and not got caught up in this, she would continue to chase you.
I warned you that you needed a DEFAULT LINE.. Remember what it was? "I was just_________ (fill in the excuse) I will talk to you later and I can't talk right now. Or I am on the other line and I have to go. Don't let this woman talk to you this way. It shows that you don't respect yourself. Women need to respect you to feel love. MAKE her respect you. You didn''t trust the plan. You caved because she swore at you and was angry. (which was your proof that this was working for you) Anger is the child's way of showing respect. She was testing you. You caved somewhat. (not totally, but somewhat)
Get back on the plan... When a woman is as angry as she came across, then you know you are on the RIGHT path... When they get angry because you HAVE SHOWN YOU LET GO, then all is good.
Don't let this get turned around. It is YOU who shouldn't be sure of what you want. It is YOU who should be saying those things to her (of course not in anger)
My oh my... So much anger and jealousy over one little forgotten date (which originally she said was to be Tuesday OR Wednesday, and suddenly after you dissed her, it was written in stone. LOL)
Don't call.. Get back up and continue on the plan. DO NOT blow it again. Go back and read Pearl H again. She went through the same types of things. He kept trying to get the upper hand. She was furious at him (notice that she still loved him though, so don't get caught up in what she says when angry. This is all because you are moving away emotionally. (which you SHOULD BE DOING)
M: I'm sorry that u feel like that. i wasn't trying for it to seem that way
W: it doesn't seem like anything. That's how it is. You hurt me and i'm not messing around anymore. i wanted you to show me you wanted me back but you showed me you don't give a rat's ass about me. i poured my heart out to you. you f^cking sh^t on it.
M: I'm really sorry if that is how u feel. ive had alot going on lately. what exactly was it that i supposed to show you?
W: I came down there and showed you that i still love you and wanted to work this out. you forgot me. you forgot us and now i'm really just done with it. i'm so angry and hurt and uh! i'm just sick of this.
M: I said we could do it another day. i meant it. i'm free tomorrow right now.
W: I'm not. i have alife too. i'm not dropping my life for you when you can't even keep our plans. i mean nothing to you.
M: I do care that u are upset. that wasn't my intentions and they never have been that way.
W: Stop talking to me like you didn't spend two years of your f^cking life with me! i'm not a f^cking stranger!
M: I know ur not a stranger. This would be easier if we talked.
W: No we don't need to talk. if you need something then you can call me. But you've shown me you dont need me so no. why don't f^cking go out with your F^cking new b^tch cause that's the only time you forget your phone at a f^cking friends. you're a f^cking liar. You swore on F^cking cassie. i can't even imagine why you would lie to me about some sh^t like that. I f^cking loved you so god d^mned much and you f^cking stomped on my f^cking heart.
M: It's ur choice if u don't want to talk to me. i'm more then willing to listen to what you have to say.
M: Wow. ok. you've said enough W. I was giving u the benefit of the doubt. and so u know I WAS TELLING U THE TRUTH.
W then called 10 minutes later. lol
she started opening up and was calm but half on the verge of tears the whole time. she said how badly she wanted to come up and work on things and when it didn't happen how she felt like i didn't care and that it doesn't matter anymore. she told me she's happy she's getting to do everything she's wanted to do where she is, but she isn't happy because now she realizes she wanted to share all those things with me. she said she didn't want to share them when we together because she said she always wanted to be able to do them on her own. now she says she realizes the complete opposite, how she wants to be with me and knows she doesn't NEED to be with me.
she sounded very sincere, however, she's saying she's given up. lol. maybe she has, wouldn't be the first time i guess. she didn't sound like she's given up by any means, she even said she wants me to just tell her that i've moved on so she can stop having false hope we get back together.
i'm not contacting her. she can call. she doesn't sound like she's done to me, so i'll leave it at that.
btw, i didn't really say too much. only that i'm impressed with her how she's handling herself and the things she's been thinking about. i also said that i do still care and am glad to hear she's been doing well otherwise. she said all that other stuff doesn't really matter because i'm not there to share it with her.
idk. opinions, critiques, 2x4's? let's hear em.
Josh,
I'll be honest. I couldn't read more than HALF of this. You've learned NOTHING.
What part of "don't respond" didn't you understand???
You are back to Square One. You've given her your ballz back on a platter.
well, didn't hear from W today, which is not a surprise considering yesterday.
in a way i'm kinda lost right now. i know yesterday was a huge setback, and i understand completely where i went wrong. i do want to clarify that what she was saying on the phone was different from what she texted me. it went from anger in the texts to hurt on the phone. it wasn't as bad as many here may have perceived it to be, but still was a huge backslide i know.
i know i'm fine here without her. yesterday did get to me last night tho. i feel better overall but am completely regretting what did go down.
i now know where i have to be strong with her. i can't just stand by and let her run me down. i do have respect for myself, at the time i thought i was just letting her vent.
puppy, do you really think i started back at square one because of this? maybe i am. i don't know what to think right now besides to keep living my life like i have been. it sucks to know that all that progress pretty much got thrown out the window.
sandi, if you come across this post, would you take a second and give any insights you have? it'd be much appreciated. gucci, too.
i know i have to get back on the plan, however, part of it just doesn't feel right anymore. letting her know i'm waiting here for her isn't what i'm saying, but actually have her showing interest LIKE SHE WAS where she wanted to come and spend a couple days probably should have been considered a little bit more by me and how i played it out. i should have made alternate plans on my schedule with her i think. i don't know i'm just rambling right now.
