Nothing wrong with having friends, but seriously doubt that's all this girl wants. Make sure you don't let it go any farther than friends. I feel it will certainly get your wife's attention, but if it goes any farther than friends don't complain about your wife's 1500 texts to OM anymore.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Sorry Josh...all these situations start to blur. Reviewing this thread I can't even figure out her reason for leaving? Was it cheating? If so, you don't want to have that in common with her.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Yeah, be careful with that young girl. You have enough problems as it is! But, I know what Gucci is saying about the socializing.
Just a quick remark about this:
Quote:
i want an answer to why she just packed up and left after the day of talking about how she was going to stay and that she loved me so much, blah blah blah. i need an explanation for this. she's been gone how long and she still hasnt' taken the time to even give me one good reason why she did it.
Josh, this seems to be something that LBH's always want an answer to or why the WAW had an EA/Pa. I don't blame them, b/c I would too! However, I doubt if she could give you much of a satisfactory answer. Think about it. Has anything made sense so far? I don't think she knows her own mind--to be able to tell you why she left. This may be a question that you will have to table for the time being. I put a lot of what she did to being silly & immature......but it is certainly no "excuse"!
Don't get in any hurry to have the "talk" b/c you really have her interested now.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
thank you everyone for your input. i'm not trying to get the cart before the horse here, but what happens after i've went this route for a few days? is she going to be blowing up my phone? is she just going to show up? i know you don't know the answer exactly to this, but what should i be looking for that should happen? and once it does, THEN WHAT?
i want to know what was going through her head when she decided that was it and she made the decision to just leave. until i know that, there is no reconciliation from me, and right now she's gonna have to earn that back from me. I AM NOT going to just let her slip her way back in here because that isn't going to change ANYTHING.
not trying to be a butthead, but i want to know what i should expect from her and what to look for. me playing hard to get isn't going to make her grow up, which she has a lot of that to do before we get back together.
but what happens after i've went this route for a few days? is she going to be blowing up my phone?
Hey, sounds like you gettin kinda nervous there buddy. Just kidding. You gave me the best laugh I've had all day....
I agree that she should not be allowed to just slip back in without any explanations and play like nothing ever happened . You are 100% correct in that your techniques will not change anything about the M until she does some changes....and especially does some growing up. The fact that she may want to return does not mean that you have to allow her to return. I think that is a bad misconception of immature WAW's. They think if they decide to walk, they can decide to return when they get ready. Well, they may not have welcoming arms if they decide to go back home! That is only one reason I think she should not have it so quick & easy about returning. She left on "her" terms but I think she should return on "your" terms. Of course, that mean she should have anything to say in the matter at all, but I still think that since she left and you remained in the home, that it should primarly be up to you under the conditions that she comes back. I bet she hasn't even considered that possibility. She thinks you would be so happy if she went back home. That is why she is shocked that she hasn't been able to snap her fingers and you didn't hop! Now, she's really wondering what is going on.
I didn't want to imply that the two of you shouldn't talk before she comes back or that you didn't deserve an explanation....or even an apology, but I'm saying not to hold your breath before you are pleased at what she tells you. I don't know her and she may be the dramatic type who falls down crying and begging for your forgiveness.....I don't know. Makes it easier, I suppose, if she would.
I wanted you to expect the undesired effects. That seems to be my theme song tonight. Expect the worst scenario and know that you would be fine if "that" happened and you could move forward, then you'll be able to deal with it "if" it plays out.
Later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
