The 4 of us went to a mexican restaurant for my bday. Started off slow on the conversation, but H started interacting w/me more & more. I was actually on the DB website on my iPhone yesterday afternoon & he said - what are you reading? I said - facebook, he said - oh anything interesting? *He never asks me anything about me so this was a big deal. We also hung out on the couch watching tv last night.
Woke up this morning & he had the kids come over & hand me 2 cards. One from him which was a preprinted card on the front said - Happy Birthday, inside - you deserve it, he signed Happy Birthday & his name. The one from the kids had a full spa day gift card inside. He then made us all breakfast. We both hung around the house today. Him doing yardwork & me doing housework.
He has now gone off to his bball game...
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
Latest update...so I take the kids to H's bball game for an hour. He always makes me feel uncomfortable there (like I am pursuing him)...and God knows what he has told his teammates about me while they are hanging out at their little beer pong parties...anyways, in my mind, I just want his kids to be able to support him...I'm torn on this one...
So the kids & I come home & eat the lovely rib dinner & birthday cake that I decided to make for MYSELF! LOL If I didn't have kids, not blowing out candles would NOT have bothered me, but I thought it would be fun...and I could really use that wish.
H calls when the game ends & he's packing up his stuff. Tells me the teams tied, etc, etc. then says - I think I'm going to grab a bite to eat on my way home. I say - Are you sure, I saved a plate of ribs for you? H - I was thinking I could take them to work for lunch tomorrow. Plus the whole team is going for a what-the-he!!-are-we-doing-playing-like-such-$hit-meeting. I think I said something like - oh, okay. Can't quite remember.
It's funny bc afterwards I thought - Happy Birthday to me! (sarcastically)...but I just thought that. And I hadn't been thinking that when we were on the phone. I am pretty sure when we were on the phone, I really didn't care. I was more happy that he called to let me know what his plans were. I know I'm totally overanalyzing this now, but hopefully my tone really was that of a simple oh, okay. Maybe it was better that way because it wasn't a conscious effort on my part to show that I wasn't going to make him feel guilty about wanting to do something on his own...maybe it was better that it was natural.
Just interesting to think about...
Me 36, Him 33 M 11yrs, T 15yrs S 8, D 7 ILYBINILWY - 1/09 H moves out 10/09 D to be final SOON I HOPE!
I think you handled it very well. And this is a marathon, not a sprint so you are doing well pacing yourself.
That sucks he didn't come home for the dinner, but it is great he called you to let you know.
The card was a good sign too.
The more you change, keep the changes and don't back slide, etc. the better it is, the more he sees it and realizes, you did hear him and you did work on it. Then he'll need to make some changes too. It sounds to me like a little bit of progress.
I hope it all went well - I've found that I get very tense and stressed out before MC too, moreso than when H and I are just talking on the phone or anything like that.
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
