Yes! The enormity of the debt and bills and having the kids is overwhelming me.
There is no way I can make enough money to handle any of this at the moment, I keep working away at the projects I have (one of which should, God willing bring in money soon), but I know this is my achilles heel. I have $20 in my account and H can't tell me for sure when more will come in. And then the knowledge that he is adding more expenses just kills me. And here we are right where we've been all along.
So, yes, a plan, a real plan needs to be implemented.
I know that I have been so controlling in the past and look at how things end up so I don't trust myself anymore.
I am so hostile that he can just breeze out of here and tell me to "hang in there." I almost bust a gasket on that one. And there I was, for his viewing pleasure, the judgmental, negative, naysaying critic who is just looking at the cup half empty cuz I should just know it is all going to work out just fine...
So, yes, I need a very practical plan for climbing my way out of this.
Today (not always), I am so jealous of him...why? He is broke, has only other people's opinions of him to draw self-esteem from ("so and so says I'm the best dad she's ever seen"), a fracture because he has an injury that wasn't dealt with for months so will now have him limping and cost more money...and I'm jealous of him? Why? Maybe because he can brush it all off and say it will all work out.
Anyway, ya, this is tough with the move happening so I am extra emotional.
