Right now I am very proud of myself. I may have backslided but I feel good about it. Being an action-oriented person I just could not stay at work, do nothing and torture myself, so I decided to take things into my own hands. This is what I did:
By 12:30 he had not called and I had nothing to do, so I left and went by his workplace. I went in, told 'Hi' very nicely to the OW and asked if he was finished because we were going to lunch. She was not happy and said 'no'. I kept my cool and said 'I'll just use the restroom for a moment' and sent her for a bottle of water ( ). Then I used the restroom (my innards were in a knot) and saw that some of my H's clothes were in a closet there still (he lived in the office for 4 months when he left the OW and before he came back home).
Anyway, I went into my H's office, kissed him soundly (pink lipstick on ) and asked him to come to lunch with me. He was busy but told me he'd meet me in 30 minutes. He seemed rather tense (who can blame him, poor thing) but was friendly and even laughed a bit. I sat for a few minutes with him, while he did paperwork and he told me rather impatiently that he wanted to get out of there. OW at this point comes into her own office (next door) and can hear our friendly tone of voice and the laughter (and at least 1 kiss, in case she does not notice the lipstick ).
I offered to take the clothes home and he said "I'll take them, she is bringing my stuff little by little." While I sat there I idly took a book whose latest edition I had not yet seen and got totally petrified by finding inside a deposit slip from their bank account written by H dated 2/03. He noticed the change in me because he asked "what's the matter?". I just handed him the slip. He tossed in the wastebasket and said, quite concerned: "that is old" (the actual expression could also translate as "that's in the past").
Then I got up and kissed him again, told him I'd see him at the restaurant and left. On my way out I peeked into OW's office and made some more friendly chit chat (she was tense, I was friendly, natural and relaxed: and it was not acting!). As I was leaving I let a "Hon, don't forget to bring the rest of your clothes when you come home" trail IN ENGLISH, so that she'll understand!. Just in case...
I felt I had staked my territory rather neatly and it did wonders for my PMA. Talk about cats getting to the cream...
We ended up not going to lunch because when I got to the restaurant my office called to say that they needed me urgently. I called my H and told him and we cancelled the date. A few minutes later, he called me to see if we could meet when I finish and go to the bookstore with our daughter. He sounded well and more relaxed and said he'd try to get home early...
What do you think? Progress or backslide?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
). Then I used the restroom (my innards were in a knot) and saw that some of my H's clothes were in a closet there still (he lived in the office for 4 months when he left the OW and before he came back home).
) and asked him to come to lunch with me. He was busy but told me he'd meet me in 30 minutes. He seemed rather tense (who can blame him, poor thing) but was friendly and even laughed a bit. I sat for a few minutes with him, while he did paperwork and he told me rather impatiently that he wanted to get out of there. OW at this point comes into her own office (next door) and can hear our friendly tone of voice and the laughter (and at least 1 kiss, in case she does not notice the lipstick 
