We may have a chance after all

[nightshade]

Hi optimist, my H also kept working with his first OW after the affair ended. I guess I found it hard at first but as I kept having proof that the affair wasn't restarting it became easier. I figured no matter where he goes to work there will be women anyways plus if he still wanted to keep seeing her, he could easily do so even if he wasn't working with her anymore, so as long as I could see that there was nothing else happening, I was able to relax. THere was also the problem of finances. We couldn't afford to loose his job at that time.
Then again I also had some information from there, and I knew for sure that there was no contact with her unless it was job related and even in those cases he was avoiding her as much as possible. That was affair #1. He eventually got another position in there which got him even farther from where she was working and got different hours as well. Eventually he found another job and moved on.
That was affair #1.
Now with this last one things were quite different, since this ow was not about to take the word "end" in their affair, so whenever he tried to brake it off, she would keep going to his office and crying and even treatning to make a scene, so he had trouble staying there. Heck he had trouble ending it in the first place, making it like a yo-you now we're having an affair, now we're not, now we're doing it again... and so on.
WIth this one I didn't ask him to quit, however he figured out that he wasn't going to be able to really end the affair without moving out, so he did it. WHich got us some problems with money again but at the same time it was nice of him to give that step.
He was sweet too, when he told me why he had to quit, he explained that it was very awkward working there with her and he felt pressured to resart it, but also he was quiting because he missed being able to sleep with me, just sleeping holding onto me. Hey who knows, it possible was just more BS, but it felt good to hear it

I was a bit like you, I use to talk om my own time and place and like you I found out that asking him to find a time to talk about it was a good idea. Not at first, he just kept postponing it, but after a while he got the idea and prepared himself for a talk, instead of being caught in the middle of that kind of conversation without warning.
WIsh you the best of luck
Hugs
nightshade