Changing Man

[Gardener]

Gypsy,

Hey Gardener..How does your garden grow now that we're having beautiful weather?

Wonderfully! Many weeds though (it's not my priority at the moment)

I followed the "I'm sure you can acknowledge that I think this divorce is wrong. So while I have decided I will not stand in your way, I've also decided that I will not do anything to facilitate something I feel is so very wrong. Do what's in your heart. I won't resist, but you should know that I won't assist you, either.

You followed it, but am I correct in inferring that you don'y necessarily agree? Or, rather, don't agree with the part of the script that preceded it? Would you clarify, Gypsy?

Any interactions with your wife should fall under the "no expectations, no intentions" rule. She asked you to watch the cat. You like taking care of your old buddy. Win/win.

That's what I'm doin'.

Was your first divorce in CT? My laissez faire approach worked against me. By not emotionally ready for a divorce I ended up on the defensive at every step. My only suggestion is to know your legal rights before you make that statement. If you're in the Fairfield County area I can give you the name of a few attorneys. As you know mediators are the most cost effective and usually the least emotionally draining, followed by collaborative lawyers, followed by.. on and on until you hit a trial.

Yes, in CT. My current wife and I had same D Lawyer; she thought we were the same in every way and introduced us after our collective dust settled. How's that? My understanding is that in Ct a "mediator" really represents the party that contacted/contracted and other party needs a lawyer, anyway. My gut says say no to mediator because she'll make appointment and I'll have to agree to meet her there and I think that's making it too easy. I believe that if she wants this D (without ever even telling me why:all she's ever done , in MC and out, is list a number of wearing, annoying behaviors of mine in the past), she should be the one to pursue it.
Perhaps I'll drop the won't-go-to-mediator part of script for now. I don't know. I don't want to make this easy, simple, or quick for my wife.

Thank you, Gypsy.