OK maybe I am just sensitive today. I am welcome to feedback and suggestions. Let me lay it out just for my own sake and tell me what I am missing if anything...
I have been reading a ton since this all started and I realize at some point in our 9 moves in 10 years, I gave up SO much of myself to support Dan I basically only had him for support/companionship. I stopped doing a lot of the hobbies I had before, didnt make friends since we were just going to move anyway, etc. But in my reading I realized I needed to recapture me. So instead of needing Dan to 'complete' me, this past year I have:
*Been running again, sporadically *Started karate lessons *Gotten my bike out and started riding it again *Gotten involved at church and volunteer *Go out on occasion with a few girls from work, not much but a start *Started golfing, bought my own clubs finally (H was a big time golfer when he had time) *Gotten a new job and become really attached to it (H said he had never seen me passionate about work before) *Started organizing my home like I always wanted but never did
Those are all things I have done for ME. For HIM, I have: *Supported all farm/cattle transactions, time away from home (when he moved back) to do cow stuff *Empathized with his need to be gone so much for work *Taught our son to ride his bike, even though Dan is the one who thought it was so important *Signed them up for swim lessons and am working on private lessons too so they can be good swimmers (another H desire but generally a good idea) *Continued to go to 90% of the family functions for HIS family, even going to several (his sister's baby's baptism, other sister's anniv. party) without him when he was out of town *I was paying his bills after he moved out from our joint account, until I decided enough was enough and opened my own account and gave him his bills *I have allowed him full access to our home and our kids, had him over for dinner, vacation together, etc etc
What have I asked HIM to do? *Stay faithful to me, including not going to strip clubs or using porn on business trips *Include me in his cattle plans/dreams so I am part of the team, then I will not feel the need to question things if I am "in the loop" *Spend alone time with me each week, doesn't have to be a date, could even be time after the kids are in bed before we go to sleep, when it is just him paying attention to me (this was when we were living together and he thought I was being too 'needy and demanding') *Forgive me for depending on him too much for everything in the past and treating his cattle enterprise like a hobby instead of a legitimate endeavor/dream
