Jimbo- I've been looking over your threads and it seems we have similar situations. I'll be headed over to the MLC boards once this locks, or maybe earlier. It would be nice to hear from others in a similar situation.
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You're concerned that "no kids = no contact".
My biggest fear is that she's completely disappear. She knows this is my fear and that it hits on some really old, core personal issues for me. When she originally moved out she commented on the disappearing thing. She said "In the past I would just move someplace new and start over. The fact that I haven't gone anywhere should tell you something." I don't know what it tells me, really. The filing strikes a panic chord in me, partly because of her history and partly because of my own wounds. Honestly, I think me moving away will give me some perspective on that.
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Now is the time when she is "exploding". Except it's all in S-L-O-W M-O-T-I-O-N......
This is really helpful. I think part of my problem with this is my expectation of what the implosion should look like. It never occurred to me that this would happen slowly. I have to process that a little.
I'm not sure I see this as an experiment on her part. My IC told me that people who are dealing with the MLC are stuck back at some event from earlier in life. I'll paraphrase what he said to me ... You, as the person closest to the person in crisis, represent all those past experiences she never dealt with. She can't see right that it isn't you that is really bothering her. You're too close. You just happened to be the catalyst for all of this pent up anger and frustration. She's rebelling, not against you specifically, but against the sum total of all these unresolved experiences. That has to be painful for her. I don't really have a point ... I just need to get that out.
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Let go. Let God.
I've been praying ALOT lately, which shouldn't be that big of a surprise but that is another thread. I'll just put this out there ... Anyway, the biggest thing I've come to realize is that I want to be there for her. Not that I want to help her through this, but that I know how bad it is to deal with stuff like this alone. I had been praying that she'd come back, or wake up, or ... pick your variation. Lately this has changed. I've been praying that whatever it is that has her pinned down will be released, even if that is me. Asking for a restoration ... a healing ... of her with Him, regardless of how it ends up with me. It's not up to me to make THAT happen. I've been reminding God that she is His. I just can't get that out of my head. Again ... I just need to get that out too.
