Puppy - Help !

[lowneil]

Puppy-

Long story but, we started MC (she and I both said we wanted to work on our marraige) after I found out about her EA on 3/06/2009. We went for about 4 weeks and she kept talking about a separation/divorce.

I got upset and said I would move out for a while to cool things off because we were having some pretty heated arguments and she kept saying how I was always "up under her". I stayed at my parents house for a week.

When I moved back our MC suggested separate bedrooms and I agreed to sleep downstairs to give her "space".

All this time I come to find out that the EA was actually a PA and she lied all the way through MC to me and the counselor saying it was over and just an EA. I found out the truth on 6/4/2009.

The day I found out I called the OM (who has a W and 2 young kids) and told him if he ever came near my wife or contacted her I would tell his wife and ruin his political career (he's from a small town). So, I'm pretty sure the OM cut all contact with my W.

She has not committed to the M and keeps saying she's 70%/80%/90%/100% sure she wants a D depending on the day. But, she hasn't taken any conrete steps-- moving out, filing, meeting with an Attorney.

So I have been living in limbo ince 6/4/2009. I originally told the MC that I wanted the marraige to work on would just be the best husband I could be until she made a decision.

But, I think I have been enabling her by not setting up bondaries and clearly communicating what I will and will not accept. I have always taken the approach that I just want her to be happy and have really taken on ownership of her issues, feelings, etc.

I know I haven't been the best husband but I have worked hard since we started MC to become a better person. In fact, she told me several times that I am now the kind of man that she would want to be married to and I will be a great H to my next wife. She just doesn't think she can forgive past hurts and doesn't know if she wants to work on the marriage.

Hope that helps