Thanks everyone. It is so obvious to me that I don't post here as often, because I now have someone else of quality in my life.
It is SO helpful that she went through the same thing. She also admitted being seriously depressed when her husband broke the news to her, and was further devastated when she found out he was having an affair with one of his secretaries.
She admitted, and I'm coming to see, that our spouses did each of us the biggest favors of our lives.
A marriage can only be saved if both people own why it failed. MY STBX owned it, but was not interested in changing her behaviors OR fixing the marriage.
We both also realized that we just were never really that INTO our spouses, and they were never really enamoured with us either, but....a commitiment was a commitment to us, for better or....oh yeah.....worse.
We both admitted that there was chemistry between us for years, but neither of us acted on it, because, we of course, took our marriage vows seriously. I guess in life this type of stuff happens.
It is also so obvious to me now just how unhappy I REALLY was, and I was trying to save something that really shouldn't have been saved.
When you think of how difficult it is to first get over a divorce, be OK with yourself, and then maybe think of a future with someone else MAYBE someday, I really got lucky. We have a great time together. She like I do, realize that the best THINGS in life aren't really THINGS at all!
She told her daughter last night that I was the love of her life....Pretty good stuff, huh? Eight months later, miracles do happen. I never expected anything like this, and I never saw her as a replacment for my STBX. It just sort of evolved.
My year in Iraq was the ultimate detachment experience. I was away form home for nearly two years.
As my STBX tries to pull the same old angry, controlling stuff with me, it just rolls off my back now, where three years ago, any anger or threat from her would have me reeling!!!!! She, like many of the Xs I have read about here is just not a very nice person. Oh well.......
