total quarter life mlc

[Sanderika]

Hi mdoodles,

I understand your frustration. I think you said all the right things. I think all of your frustrations are valid and justified.

H is to blame for the money issues. In H MLC, H is all about blaming you for the marriage and financial and any other thing thing he considers trouble. He can blame, do not validate. Do not retaliate, sit quietly. When he appears to finish, walk away.

IMO H quit his good paying job to open a store he didn't make a committment to. IMO, as a business owner, your store was destined to fail because of the complete lack of attention given to it. H opened it out of fantasy, MLC fantasy. It was also fantasy that it would run itself and be an instant success. You get out of something what you are willing to put in. H didn't put in any effort or time you can't run a store on bankers hours. He failed. "FAILURE IS ALWAYS A DECISION" Mdoodles you did not fail here. This was an endeavor H appeared to take on himself. H threw in the towel. H quit. He knew going into it you were a stay at home mom. The success of the store was H's burden.

H is now blaming you for the financial troubles.

H is a hypocrite for telling you the household furniture is marital property while he apparently believes the store was not (?) H is in a delusional fog. It's all about him. It's all about blaming mdoodles for all his problems. H took the money from the store and didn't share it with you. H is living off those resources if he has not found a job. I am not convinced he has a job.

You need to approach H in a different manner. I think you need to detach further and leave him to sort out the problems. H needs to be left alone with the problems he created. H needs to see the consequences for himself. He is not listening to you right now. Stop talking about the problems and OW and relationship. Start a new plan, try talking about little son and the funny things he does and says or the weather for that matter. Start keeping it a lighter atmosphere around H. Go "as if" completely.

Mdoodles, I know the issues and the fears and the pain. I also know it won't make matters better right away and the financial burdens won't take care of themselves. I'm saying pass the burdens on to him and make him face them. H is avoiding and living in the fog of selfishness and immunity. You need to let go of the burden and hand it over to him to figure out.

This is so hard, I would love to fix this. I don't really have the answers. Sometimes a different view can give you ideas. We can't truly be with you, the support is here.

When do you see H next? Let's decide how you are going to detach further.

(((((Hugs 4 U)))))

Take care, my friend....

Sanderika