What?! Oh crap, I thought I was detaching. Oh well, back to the drawing board. One day I'll get the hang of this DBing!
Remember, the full phrase is "loving detachment." It's the opposite of "enmeshed/co-dependent." To be enmeshed, you would NEED to have physical contact with her, and you would define your own self-worth by it.
To be "lovingly detached" in last nite's situation, you might have, first of all, NOT asked her (women like it when men are more "leading"), and just snuggled up behind her in a spoon position. If she responded favorably, I would have kept it at non-sexual touching at this point, but if she had said something like "I'm just not ready for that right now," or in any way pulled away from you, just confidently reply "That's fine, I understand," and then BE OKAY WITH THAT. Don't pout, get depressed, or feel rejected by it.
Anyway, I don't think the question would be whether or not it was "detaching" so much as it would be "was it needy/grabby." And since SHE initiated with the shiver and the "I'm cold" comment, I don't think it would have been.
